winter 2008, no 44

Holiday Sex Dos and Don'ts

At Come As You Are, sex is a year-round affair. It's the first thing we think about in the morning and the last thing on our minds as we lay our collective heads down to rest. We're used to making our sexual agendas fit around the rest of our life. But we know our customers often enjoy a more private sexuality; one that they don't care to share with the world. And we know this becomes a problem around the holidays, when physical, emotional, and psychological space is invaded by friends and family. So we wanted to offer a few of our holiday sex dos and don'ts that we've gleaned from 11 years of helping you stay sexually sane over the holidays.

Do find time for yourself. You don't have to be in a relationship to show yourself some loving this holiday season. Making time for a little self-love is a great way to stay calm and soothe those holiday nerves.

Do think about your space before family comes over. Whether it's taking down your "I Love Someone Kinky" fridge magnet or cleaning out your computer cache, we're not saying you should hide any part of yourself, just be thoughtful about what you want to share and what you don't.

Don't buy your boss porn for the office Secret Santa. Unless you work in a sex store, or want to have sex with your boss (and if you do we've got another "don't" list for you to read) we suggest staying away from sexually explicit material. It will either embarrass or arouse them, and either way we think a comfortable and un-aroused boss is the best kind of boss.

Don't buy sex toys for your partner without getting a few clues in advance. If we had a nickel for every time we've talked a customer down from buying our biggest dildo for a partner who's never had a sex toy, we'd be rich. Sex toys make great presents, and surprises are sexy…but do a little re-con, and when in doubt, stick to some lube and a gift certificate (it means you get to shop together).

Do have sex over the holidays, even in your old bedroom of your parents' house. But be sure to check the creakiness and weight restrictions on that bed that might have been fine for you at age 15; it could collapse under the weight of adults making merry.

Don't forget others over the holidays. For many of us, the holiday season is actually a time of loneliness and isolation. We're not suggesting adding vibrators to your food bank donation, but be aware that not everyone will be feeling the holiday spirit, and not all of us are basking in the glow of lovers, friends, and family.

Do shop ethically. We're happy to say that we have more small manufacturers and more responsibly produced products than ever before. Whether you're looking for green lube, vegan condoms, silicone dildos, or metal butt plugs, we can tell you more about whom, where, and how they were made, letting you shop with peace of mind. And remember we'll always recycle your batteries for you.

Happy Holidays from all of us at Come As You Are!

news

Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair

Plans are underway for the 3rd annual Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair. This one-of-a-kind sexy fair brings together artists and crafters just in time for Valentine's Day. Knitters, crafters, zinesters, card makers, and artists of all types will be creating erotic objects for this one-day celebration of DIY sex and romantic culture. This year's fair takes place on Saturday, February 14, 2009 from Noon - 8PM at the Gladstone Hotel. If you're interested in vending or know someone who would be, applications are being accepted until mid-December. For more info visit www.eroticartsandcrafts.com.

Our Co-op Has Grown

It's with a huge excitement, lots of pride, and bundles of joy that we announce that we have a new worker-owner at Come As You Are. After two years of working in the trenches our intrepid store manager and video buyer Holly has decided to spend the rest of her life in the trenches, with us! We could go on and on about how running a business democratically takes way more work and how rewards like this are particularly sweet as a result, but we've got to get back to work.

Sex and Music Lovers, Enter to Win!

This month's contest is all about the music you love. As a result, we're giving away an OhMiBod iPod vibrator gift kit. Simply plug the OhMiBod into any music player and it automatically vibrates to the rhythm and intensity of the music. Let your body feel the vibrations as you get down with your favorite tunes.

What do you have to do to win? Send us a playlist of your favourite songs to get down to. Playlists must include at least six songs (and as many as twelve) listing the song name and artist. Email your playlist, along with your name, shipping address, and phone number to contests@comeasyouare.com. We will draw randomly from the names of all who entered and the winner will receive an OhMiBod gift back, including the classic vibe, an OhMiBod t-shirt, batteries, and lube. All you need is the music.

toys

Jimmyjane Massage

Warm up your winter and someone you adore with Jimmyjane's new luxurious and sensuous massage tools: the Afterglow Candle and the Massage Contour I These massage candles melt at a low temperature and can be dripped onto your lover's back or lovingly painted with the included brush. Increase the intensity of your massage with Jimmyjane's I shaped ceramic massage stone. $30 each.

Njoy Eleven

Just in time for the holidays, the folks at Njoy Toys have given us their biggest xmas package yet! Not to be mistaken for the traditional holiday Yule log, Njoy's Eleven is eleven pure inches of stainless steel sexiness just waiting to be unwrapped. This double-headed dildo has a smooth end for fun times and a ridged end for a more extreme experience.comes complete with sexy leather storage satchel. $300

Vergenza MK I

With six levels of aerospace inspired pleasure orbs and a shock absorbing handle, the MK I from Vergenza is the ultimate penetration toy. Made of high-end, aircraft quality spun aluminum, Vergenza's MK I is double headed for endless possibilities. Non-porous, jewellery-grade finish. $140

Lelo Bo

We know our Lelo lovers are folks of all genders, but up until now, most of their sex toy genius has been focused on bringing pleasure to their female following. Finally, Lelo has applied their skills to pleasing the guys with the Lelo Bo, our newest vibrating penis ring. Portable, discreet and rechargeable, Bo is made of body-safe rubber, comes with its own storage case, and will vibrate for four hours on a single charge. $85

Naughty & Bad Boys

Give the gift of prostate massage this holiday season! From the creators of the Rude Boy come two new vibrating prostate toys for guys of all levels of experience. For those who thought the Rude Boy was just a bit too rude, check out the more slender and beginner-friendly Naughty Boy. If you were one of those guys who just wanted more, Bad Boy offers a bigger and more bulbous shaft for advanced players. $72 each.

dvds

Pirates 2

Three years after the original record-breaking film comes Pirates 2: Stagnetti's Revenge. Even better than the first - the acting, CGI and sets (not to mention the wicked-hot sex) are incomparable to anything that has been made in porn, ever. Sex scenes are edited in a way that prevents monotany and the storyline is fast-paced yet not hard to follow. Knockout scene between power-hungry Jesse Jane and Belladonna is a must-see, as well as the oral sex in the second last scene. It's worth the hype. 4 disc set, over 8 hours of content. $85

Aunt Peg

Juliet Anderson is Aunt Peg, a well-loved and in control babe who is a movie producer that just can't keep herself off of everyone! A classic from the late 70s, this movie features high-energy group scenes and a little bit of a sneaky, but sexy, taboo feeling to it. Aunt Peg is definitely a hot character that can never be replicated, and this film shows her at her best. $29

Nina Loves Girls

New production company Sweetheart videos has stolen our hearts! In the new title, Nina Loves Girls, world famous Nina Hartley discusses her life in and out of porn before seducing a cast of lovely ladies including Stephanie Swift. Light bondage and strap on play with a major focus on sensuality and the connection between Nina and her co-stars. A must for those who love Nina and her one-of-a-kind personality. $40

Not Another Porn Movie

Punk princess Joanna Angel has struck gold with the hilarious Not Another Porn Movie. Filled with classic porn scenarios like the seductive secretary and the naughty nurse, our director, Joanna, is trying to create a porno of her own but everything just seems to be going totally wrong! Amongst all the chaos, we get tons of scenes of off-the-charts sex. Fun and sexy. $35

Great Sex For a Lifetime Volume 1

Sex ed. for the boomer generation, Great Sex For a Lifetime Volume 1 covers everything from foreplay and oral sex to new sex positions and maintaining a healthy lifestyle to improve your sex life. We particularly love the focus on keeping a sexual spark alive in long term relationships. $29

Curvaceous

Curvaceous is the first release from Vivid's new line, Vivid Plus, which features "100% big girls". Starring women with a few more curves than your average porn star, these girls are totally into showing off their beautiful bodies and indulging in any and all pleasure that they can get their hands on! Featuring the bombshell "Brooks Family" triple threat, an awesome car wash scene, and the ultimate bachelorette party turned orgy, this first title leaves us wanting more from Vivid Plus. $35

books

Where's Dildo?

They've done it again. From the minds that brought you Position of the Day and Naughty Crosswords, comes an even better way to spend your time on a winter day. Where's Dildo? And 99 other Mind Stimulating Games has 100 word games ranging from sexy sudoku, to naughty word search, all the way to X-rated word scrambles and more. A naughty stocking stuffer for all those wordsmiths and crossword addicts in our lives we love to tease. $13.95

Tantric Sex Deck

Did you know that Graham Crackers and Corn Flakes were invented to help curb masturbation? Looking for new ways to achieve higher levels of exhilaration and enlightenment in your relationship? Want to learn more about Tantra without a lot of book learnin'? Tantric Sex Deck: 50 Paths to Sacred Sex and Lasting Love is a beautifully illustrated 50-card deck that is fun and educational. From the history of Tantra and multiple orgasms for men, to learning about chakras and role reversal, this easy to read deck will bring lasting enjoyment to any late night adventure. $16.95

Naughty or Nice

'Naughty or Nice: Christmas Erotica Stories' is the newest holiday-themed erotica collection guaranteed to get your sleigh bells ringing! With tantalizingly steamy stories from Allison Tyler, Saskia Walker, Rachel Kramer Bussel and many more, this anthology will give you a reason to stuff your partner's stockings with something a bit naughtier this year. $17

G is for Games

Don't let its small size fool you; this tiny tidbit of mouth-watering erotic stories packs a hardy punch. A collection of short and sweet erotic stories focusing on the thrill of the games we have all played as young adults (think spin the bottle, twister, 7 minute in heaven). Alison Tyler does a magnificent job at showcasing authors who remind us of how erotically innocent those games where and how deliciously naughty they can be when played as an adult! $13.95

Spanked

Spanked: Red Cheeked Erotica is a well-written and intelligent collection by real enthusiasts who understand the enticement of spanking. There's nothing quite like a red-hot spanking to keep your cheeks warm this winter and with this fine collection of stories you will be kept nice and warm well through to the spring. A great gift for the spanker or spankeeon your list. $17