Gee Whiz - The G-Spot and Female Ejaculation
At Come As You Are we don’t believe that the g-spot is some magic button that, once touched, will change your sex life forever.
Just like some of us get turned on by having our inner thighs caressed or our ears nibbled on, some people find that stimulating the g-spot is incredibly arousing and even orgasmic, while for others it does nothing at all.
Don’t get us wrong, some of us love our g-spots, and we certainly believe there are lots of tips, techniques and toys that can help you explore!
Over the years we’ve noticed that too often people come to us convinced that there is something wrong with them because they can’t “find” their g-spot. The g-spot is just one of many potential points of pleasure, and what feels great to some might just not work at all for others. But by all means read, explore and enjoy!
This pamphlet offers a non-medical, pleasure based approach to the g-spot and female ejaculation.
Hitting the spot!
The g-spot can be stimulated from inside the vagina and also from the outside of a woman’s body by pressing down just above the pubic bone (at the pubic hairline). It’s easiest to find the g-spot when already aroused as the area around it becomes engorged.
If you can insert your fingers (or a toy) into your own vagina follow these steps to find your g-spot:
Insert one or two fingers slowly into your vagina such that when you curl your finger it is pressing towards your belly. As you insert a finger notice how the walls of the vagina feel. When you’ve got a finger half way in (or around the second knuckle) begin to curl your finger in a ‘come hither’ motion. You should feel an area on the upper wall that feels slightly ridged or bumpy. This is the area where your urethral sponge and g-spot are. The area responds to pressure. Try rhythmically but gently pressing on the area or massaging it by moving your fingers in circles or in the ‘come hither’ motion.
Making a splash!
If you find you enjoy the stimulation, keep it going while you stimulate yourself externally and see how an orgasm feels when stimulating the g-spot. For some people this won’t be much, for others it’s a very different orgasmic experience. Some women find that a fluid is released before or when they orgasm with g-spot stimulation.
This fluid is sometimes mistaken for urine but research indicates that in fact the chemical content is similar to male ejaculate (without the sperm). It is usually clear and has no scent. The prevailing belief is that the fluid is released from glands and ducts surrounding the urethra.
The ability to ejaculate can be learned by most women. In our experience talking with thousands of women over the years it seems that some learn it more easily than others, and some women ejaculate significantly more than others.
We don’t believe that every woman needs to learn to express fluid at the point of orgasm (and for that matter we don’t think it’s particularly important for men to do this either, unless someone wants to get pregnant). What’s important for us is that women know that they need not feel ashamed or embarrassed about what is part of a healthy sexual response!
A little help from a friend
Some people find their g-spot is easier to reach with a sex toy than with a finger. Toys can also offer different sensations, and can help keep our hands from getting tired out.
When looking for a g-spot toy you are probably looking to find something with a bit of a curve to help you reach up towards your belly. Many people also find that they prefer a harder toy that allows them to use a firmer pressure against their g-spot.
A g-spot toy might be a vibrating toy or might not. If you are looking for your first toy you probably want to limit how much you spend, and if the toy is vibrating ensure it has a variable speed - so you can find out what setting is right for you!
Online Sexual Health Resources
All About My Vagina An oldie, but a goodie, Canadian DIY sex education site. www.myvag.net
The Sexual Health Network A range of articles, mostly from a medical perspective. www.sexualhealth.com
Scarleteen A youth friendly, sex positive approach to sexual health. This site addresses an array of issues, and includes lots of q&a style articles. www.scarleteen.com
Sexual Health Books
New View of a Woman’s Body by The Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers
The Good Vibrations Guide to the G-Spot by Cathy Winks
Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot by Deborah Sundahl
Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston