Newsletter No. 10: SPRING 2000

Introduction

A bit of Valentine's day lore: Valentine was a Christian bishop who went against a Roman decree against marriage to marry lovers. While sitting in jail awaiting his fate, he befriended the jailer's daughter (and cured her blindness). While we don't know too many details about their romance, it is believed that Valentine wrote many letters to his beloved, signing them "from your Valentine." From these declarations of love, the modern Valentine's day card was born. So while people may still send the traditional card - signed, sealed and delivered - there are variations on that theme, like the anonymous cards passed around in grade school.

However you do it, whether it's face-to-face gazing into her eyes or a shy awestruck glance on the subway or the coded bits of me / you information in a newspaper's "sightings" column, letting someone know you love them, you adore them, you cherish them, you dig their funky style, is one of the greatest things you can do for someone. You get a call from your lover who was "just thinking about you," a friend tells you that someone they know has crush on you, and behold - your good self-feelings click up a couple of notches. And this is true for whatever you do: another person's appreciation
(particularly someone real special to you) makes everything worthwhile.

In general, this has got to be backed up with some kind of action, or reflect something that is already going on. Saying "I love you" isn't going to sound great if you haven't called for weeks, if you still haven't done the dishes and if you're still going to sneer if he puts on those red silk boxer shorts when he's in the mood. On the other side of the coin, if
you've just met, you'll be lucky if your effusive declaration of love seems cute, and not crazy. (Declarations of lust may fare a bit better).

So it pays to think a little about what you say and how you say it. Folks in the flower industry (another "I love you" type of gift) have devised long lists of various flowers and what they mean, the different messages implied - so you don't end up sending red roses to your boss to whom you just wanted to say "thanks for the raise." In the same way, the right colour handkerchief at a leather bar will be as important in letting people know what you're looking for. A massage oil in the beginning stages of a relationship is nice, but maybe it's time to up the ante, take a little risk, and go for a vibrator. Maybe it's a way of saying, "I have been listening to what you're saying, and that's why I got you a soft jelly
purple one." One thing isn't going to be right for everyone, so take a little time and be sure that, whether you're saying it with a look, a few words, flowers or a dildo, the passions of your heart and loins are being expressed in the best way possible.

special news

There's more of us! In January, COME AS YOU ARE grew bigger with two new
workers. Ruby honed her skills working at The Body Shop many years ago, and currently her band plays all over town. Andrea has been working at sex toy stores for the past four years.

workshops

THE ETHICAL LOVER
March 15, 22 & 29     7:30 - 10:00 pm
Drawing from the bestselling book, The Ethical Slut, and principles of negotiation and consent in responsible BDSM relationships, this three-week workshop is a chance to explore with others ways to create rewarding sexual relationships. For women only. Facilitated by Leanne Cusitar. Cost is $20.

SEX, SPIRIT & AROMATHERAPY
March 28     7:30 - 10:00 pm
A discussion on sexuality and aroma-
therapy. Find out about aphrodisiacs, and how to create erotic massage oils and sensual atmospheres with essential oils. With Nadine Artemis of Osmosis, Everyday Aromatherapy. Cost is $20.

KAMA SUTRA
April 18, 25, May 2 & 9
7:30 - 10:00 pm
Combining lecture, discussion and practical components, this four-week course will explore Kama Sutra through four areas: its historical context; food & aphrodisiacs; sex (including homosexuality); and physical environment. With Sudharshan Duraiyappah. Cost is $55.

FEMALE EJACULATION
For women, and men accompanied by a woman: June 6     7:30 - 10:00 pm
For women only: June 7   7:30 - 10:00 pm
Returning with her popular seminar, Shannon Bell will discuss female ejaculation from a historical and theoretical perspective, followed by an overview of anatomy and technique, plus a demonstration. Cost is $15 per person.

FENGSHUI YOUR BOUDOIR
July 11    7:30-10:30 pm
Learn the basics of fengshui and how to apply them to the specific focus of sexual / love energy in your living space. With Bridget McFarthing. Cost is $40.

Pre-registration is required for all workshops. Sliding scale is available.
For more info or to register, please call us at COME AS YOU ARE,
416-504-7934.

books

Lots of us learn sexy ideas from our lovers, partners and best friends. For those who want to add to our repertoire, or to spice things up in the boudoir, many books offer great ideas.Of special note, we are offering the original hardcover of Turn Ons, by the renowned Lonnie Barbach, for a limited time at a super-low price. Titled 50 Ways to Please You Lover, it's a bargain and good value.

Fiction is also a great source of new ideas, and what better way to glean new tricks than to be turned on at the same time. Anthologies are a great way to sample a little bit from everyone's plate. Classic erotica featuring exquisitely luscious damoiselles, scenes of submission and sexual excess can be found in Joyful Desires and The Blue Moon Reader, which feature stories from the past century and earlier. Eagerly anticipated is the
newest volume of Best American Erotica. With an awesome track record behind her, Susie Bright has compiled some of the most salacious, smart and sparkling erotica around, from the most obvious to some pretty unlikely places. 2000's edition (out in February) should be no exception.

More nifty, new stories featuring gutsy female protagonists are That Kind of Girl by comic artist Molly Kiely and Floozy by Jane Graham. In Diary of a Dominatrix and Saucy Little Tart, Kiely has featured an outrageous, fun-loving, off-kilter and very sexy character. That Kind of Girl follows more exploits including a desert hideaway, a cowgirl lover, several beautiful boys. Floozy is a series of short stories that involve seedy bars, nameless men, strange tattoos and are about making no apologies. 

Other new comics include collections and singles of manga erotica from Japan. Adorable characters involved in extreme perversity. Titles include Spunky Knight, Bondage
Fairies, The Sex Philes and Super Taboo.

50 Ways to Please Your Lover   6.99
Joyful Desires   19.50
The Blue Moon Reader   25.50
Best American Erotica 2000   19.00
That Kind of Girl   20.95
Floozy  15.50
Manga collections   31.95 / singles  6.95

videos

We want to embrace the love of good smut. Behold, the Porn Addicts Card. The perfect way to explore the world of visual erotica and all the reward of, say, frequent flyers points but without the travelling. Treat yourself to a vice that is 100 per cent caffeine free. Every tenth rental is free and every sixth video purchase is free. Next time you are renting or buying a video ask about this new offer. We would love to have you join our club.

A brand new educational tape is Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex. Full of steamy sex and spontaneous fun, this is the most entertaining how-to of the year. Building on the success of the instructional book of the same name, Tristan gathered a crew of eager friends and porn stars to demonstrate all the facets of anal sex. 
For exciting espionage drama, Mission Erotica is the campy version of the Tom Cruise blow-'em-up blockbuster with a splash of La Femme Nikita. Asia Carrera is the spy in question. Who said porn plots couldn't be exciting? Smoke machines aside, the sex is better than watching a 007 movie. 
Two new videos feature the best of stylized big production porn. Playthings by Andrew Blake features the charismatic Dahlia Grey and a gaggle of the luxuriously beautiful. Erotic Illusions by Cameron Grant has the style of Blake with a little more warmth and explicitness. Authentic scenes; crisp and very sexy. 
Eyes of Desire is the brand new film by the most loved feminist director, Candida Royalle. A voyeuristic fantasy unfolds as the main character explores her desires.
Missy, Chloe, Miss Sharon Mitchell and Tom Byron join forces to create another Candida classic that is full of mesmerizing scenes, lush sexuality, and soft energy.

Tristan Taormino's Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex   55.00
Mission Erotica   34.00
Playthings   40.00
Erotic Illusions   34.00
Eyes of Desire   40.00

toys

Secret crushes wrapped tight. Parcels small but promising. The allure of desire and the first flush of excitement. Toys for new love, old love, and romantic evenings alone.  Part of our philosophy at Come As You Are is that it's worth putting the extra work into finding the right toy for the person in mind. We don't believe that everything is for
everybody, but these days, toy manufacturers are starting to wake up to the idea of aesthetics and design. The new toys on our shelves all have that certain uniqueness that is sure to speak to individual identity, character and style. 
The Temptress is your basic hard plastic vibrator decorated with a fancy leopard print. A must for the person with the perfectly matched wardrobe.
The Love Handle is punk passion gone wild. A great gripping handle with a soft jelly vibe. Strong vibrations make this the perfect tool.
The Cherry Bomb is a round small vibe that is great for external use. Use it internally, and find the perfect pressure for g-spot stimulation. A little love goes a long way.
Two new g-spot vibes have been garnering a lot of attention these days. The
Midnight G is a sparkly blue vibe that has an 80-degree tilt to it. A reach that would be the envy of any dentist. The G-Spot Tango is a multi-faceted toy with both an internal twist and an attached external vibrator. Numerous controls make it the toy for the sci-fi buff or the closeted control freak.
If you want the tie-me-up-and-tease-me kind of loving, new restraints offer all the bondage on your favorite person's list.  The amazing new bondage tape sticks only to itself and offers amazing versatility.
The Master Series of wrist restraints, ankle restraints, and collars come in lovely red. Large and padded means comfort, durability and the ultimate bound sensation. For the fashion conscious simply add the new Soft Leather Jock Harness in red and glamour is your middle name.
Temptress  26.00 / Love Handle   36.00
Cherry Bomb   26.00
G-Spot Tango  75.00 / Midnight G  24.00
Bondage Tape (red or black)   30.00
Master Series Restraints  various prices
Soft Leather Jock Harness   80.00

Come As You Are is worker-owned and -operated.

(c) Come As You Are and CAYA Co-operative Ltd., 2000