Newsletter No. 11: SUMMER 2000

Along with tulips bursting forth from moist, cool soil, one sure sign of warmer weather is the disappearance of all those pesky layers of clothing. It's the land of the parka and the bikini, with our annual cycle of too much and too little clothing. Stepping out into the street in short shorts for the first time in spring can take getting used to since public displays of flesh are in hibernation most of the year. As well, from behind their own concealed bodies, some strangers can be cruel judges of the parts of our own bodies that do not fit some arbitrary beauty standard. So, for many of us, exposing skin to the summer sun becomes a courageous act.

We play this cat-and-mouse game, as well, with sex in the great outdoors. There are so many places that entice - the side of the road during a long trip, an alleyway behind a club at three in the morning, a rocky shoreline in the middle of cottage country. Of course we don't want anyone to see, but the idea that someone might happen along . . . (and maybe they would join in . . .). The mind reels with possibilities. Just a touch of fear and
uncertainty to make us feel especially sexy and naughty.

In Full Exposure, Susie Bright outlines an erotic manifesto that, not surprisingly, privileges honest revelation. Two sample bits: "Talk about sex anywhere. Sex is as delicious a conversation piece as food or music; it is as infinite as weather and twice as interesting. . . . Decloak in the middle of fucking. Expose yourself. Say what you're thinking. . . ." With this, she pushes us to take the necessary risks towards a fuller erotic
life. These kinds of risks are deeper because they change the nature of our social and sexual relationships. Once you reject the status quo of concealment, you step into a new space of honesty and vulnerability. And it's a continual process.

Self-revelation, "coming out" to yourself and to others is a cornerstone of gay liberation. Appropriately, this is also the season of various days of celebration - Pride Days all across Canada. Though it's more the case in the smaller centres, all Pride Days are based on the idea of stepping out of a place of shame, and revealing one's self - proudly - in community. And while Pride Days have grown in  numbers and changed in focus over the years, it's impossible to beat that feeling of exhilaration and euphoria. Plus - baring skin is practically de rigueur.
Laws and social conventions reflect our ambivalence towards exposure of skin, sex, emotions, sexual identity.

Even in a public place such as a parking lot, "taking reasonable steps" to conceal your presence and activities makes sex in a parked car acceptable. But this courtesy is often not granted to same-sex couples. Bare skin is applauded for some; reviled in others. The expression of emotion is considered standard for women and taboo for men. This is the real beauty and ugliness of exposure; and, hopefully, as we move towards a place that is comfortable for each of us, we all get to claim a piece of the sun, because, in these parts, it is truly precious.

workshops

FENGSHUI YOUR BOUDOIR
July 11    7:30 - 10:30 pm
Learn the basics of fengshui and how to apply them to the specific focus of sexual / love energy in your living space. With Bridget McFarthing. Cost is $40.

BUTTPLAY 101
July 23    7:00 - 9:00 pm
Direct from New York! One night only! Tristan Taormino, author and director / producer / star of The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (book & video), will be giving a workshop at COME AS YOU ARE. The basics of anal sex: anatomy, technique, toys and more. Space is limited, so book early. For women, and men accompanied by a woman. Cost is $25.

THE ART OF TANTRA
September 5, 12 & 19
7:30 - 10:00 pm
Combining lecture, discussion and  practical components, this three-week course will focus on the philosophies, practices and art associated with Tantra. With Sudharshan Duraiyappah. Cost is $45.

WOMEN TALKING BDSM
October 10, 17 & 24     7:30 - 10:00 pm
A three-week workshop for women either already involved in, or who would like to become involved in BDSM, covering activities, social beliefs, safety, negotiation, meeting partners. Facilitated by Leanne Cusitar. Cost is $45.

FEMALE EJACULATION
November 7     7:30 - 10:00 pm
is for women only
November 8     7:30 - 10:00 pm
is for women, and men accompanied by a woman
Returning with her popular seminar, Shannon Bell will discuss female ejaculation from a historical and theoretical perspective, followed by an overview of anatomy and technique, plus a demonstration. Cost is $15.

Pre-registration is required for all workshops. Sliding scale is available. "Women" includes trans women. For more info or to register, please call us at COME AS YOU ARE, 416-504-7934.

special news

Joining us in May, Kristyn is our newest member on staff. She's been doing sex-related stuff on community radio and in theatre for a number of years and is best known for her burlesque performances as Miss Kitty Galore.

videos

The summer is luring us into a sexy mood. With the skin exposed to the breeze, we at Come As You Are are finally opening the doors and windows. Enjoying warm weather and a proliferation of new films by the best in the business. If you need something for a rainy day or just to pass those long heat-soaked days, here's the ticket.
The conclusion to the popular Eyes of Desire, is Eyes of Desire 2, the newest of the Candida Royalle series. Missy, previously confused and curious, starts exploring what she really wants out of her relationship with the mysterious stranger next door. An interesting story combined with some of the best acting this year. A slow build-up and less raunch - perfect for taking in a little slower this summer.
Chi Chi LaRue, auteur of the gay porn world, has turned his attention to directing the straight video, Black Boots. Explicit festivities take place in a sex-filled leather bar. Features a stellar performance by Juli Ashton.
Double Feature is B-movie spoof meets sex film. A hilariously entertaining piece of work that won the AVN Best Feature Video award. Who said sex couldn't be funny?
Hard Love / How to Fuck in High Heels is an exciting new lesbian porno from a new, woman-owned company. Two videos in one, Hard Love, the first, is love going badly and contains a great break-up sex scene. Some fine dirty talking and luscious butch/ femme sex. Authentic and hard-edged. The counterpoint, How to Fuck in High Heels, is an MTV-style docudrama with fast-talking femme Shar dressed to kill in the best sex fashion you will ever see. Matching dildos and outfits, she talks you through the ins and
outs of strap-ons.
Still Insatiable features the fabulous return of '70s sensation Marilyn Chambers. She plays a senator out to ban pornography who gets caught up in the excitement of it all. A political and well-written script gives the actors something to expand into. And Marilyn, slightly older than most porn stars, is still a great actress who gets a chance to take control and express female sexuality in a realistic fashion. Directed by Veronica Hart.

Eyes of Desire 2   40.00
Black Boots   40.00
Double Feature   34.00
Hard Love / How to Fuck . . .   65.00
Still Insatiable   40.00

toys

While it is hard to improve on a good thing, an array of new toys shows that even perennial favourites can adapt into delightful new toys with just a little twist.
If you love the Rabbit Pearl vibe but are less than thrilled with its external battery pack, this bestselling Japanese dual vibrator is now available wireless! It's called the Rabbit Habit, because we just can't get enough. The new all-in-one design in translucent purple or the original model in pink - take your pick.
Cyber Flicker is a silver bullet vibe encased in cyberskin with a flickering tail on the end, combining a strong buzz and supersoft coating for maximum comfort and stimulation.
Revolutionize rush-hour and charge up your Auto Vibe in your car lighter. Similar in design to the famed Pocket Rocket, it will keep backseat passengers occupied too!
Another cyberskin toy, the Fleshlight is now created with an internal ribbed "wonder wave" design, making a great toy even better.
Our silicone collection keeps growing!
The thrill of Randy is in the girth. He's our thickest silicone dildo (measuring 2-1/4" in width and 5-3/4" in length). 
Retro is wider at the tip and sports extreme, sculptured ridges (6" long by 1-3/4" wide). 
Our sleekest dildos are smooth as ice cream melting in the hot summer sun. Silk comes in medium (7" by 1-3/4") and small (5" by 1") sizes. And Silk small is our most economical silicone toy to date at $20.00.
You asked for it, now we've got it. Eros lube for all of you who are fans of silicone-based lubricants. Available in light (formerly called Venus lube) and regular formats.
Rabbit Habit  120.00
Cyber Flicker   22.00
Auto Vibe   36.00
The Fleshlight  76.00
Randy  96.00
Retro   60.00
Silk medium   66.00 / small   20.00
Eros 30 mL   12.50 / 100 mL   25.00

books

Just as summer brings us out of doors, two new books bring us sex that takes place in new and interesting locales. Through a mÈlange of theory and personal experience, Strategic Sex: why they won't keep it in the bedroom turns the inside out. It's a defiant exposÈ of phone sex, porn, peep shows, bad medicine and bad love. The contributors in Exhibitions: tales of sex in the city use the frisson of the unexpected to give us sensuous, raunchy and provocative stories that take place in the Sydney Opera House, a Hindu
temple, a travel agency, a sex laboratory, a mint - and more.
Do lesbians really know how to please another woman better? Find out in Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men: what every man wants to know about making love to a woman and never asks. This book gets down to the nitty-gritty of seduction, kissing, orgasm, penetration - what women want in a real way that acknowledges the differences and similarities in women's desires.
For more tips for your sexual forays, look for new books by Greenery Press. Erotic Bondage Handbook by Jay Wiseman (the author of SM 101) is over 300 pages of practical, detailed information on rope, knots and equipment, and their use on just about every part of the body. Forthcoming from Greenery is The Bullwhip Book and The Mistress Manual: the good girl's guide to female dominance.
Another eagerly-anticipated forthcoming title is No Mercy, a collection of short stories by Pat Califia. This notorious bad-girl writer of lesbian SM fiction has also edited numerous fiction and non-fiction collections. Her titles include Macho Sluts, Lesbian SM Safety Manual, Doing It for Daddy, Doc and Fluff, and Public Sex. The latter is being re-issued in an updated second edition and will appear this summer. Very hot stuff!
Strategic Sex   24.50
Exhibitions   18.95
Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men   18.99
Erotic Bondage Handbook   24.25
The Bullwhip Book   18.95
The Mistress Manual  24.95
No Mercy   23.95
Public Sex, 2nd edition   25.95

Come As You Are is worker-owned and -operated.

(c) Come As You Are and CAYA Co-operative Ltd., 2000