Newsletter No. 4: SPRING 1998

Introduction

The myth of the bathhouse looms large in the sexual consciousness. The therapeutic properties of steam, sauna, shower and hot tub provide the setting for the release of the clothes and inhibitions of the outside world into an orgiastic landscape. For decades, bathhouses have been a fixture in the gay male sexual landscape. The site of anonymous and casual sex, and open 24 hours a day, the gay men's bathhouse has been lauded and vilified.

In February 1981, four Toronto bathhouses were raided and vandalized by the police, who assaulted and arrested over 300 men. In New York and San Francisco, public health officials closed down the baths as part of their strategy against the transmission of the HIV virus (even as safe-sex educators had made the baths their regular stomping ground). Nevertheless, the baths continued and their heat and wetness seeped into the sexual imagination of those prohibited entry. Thus arose the urban sexual myth of the girl who straps on a dick and passes for male to enter the world of male-on-male sex.

In "Sweating Profusely in Merida" (Herotica 3), a short story by Carol Queen, a woman and her bisexual boyfriend enjoy an afternoon and six men in a bathhouse in Mexico. It's still a challenge to penetrate exclusive spaces, but we're borrowing and being inspired across sexual cultures voraciously.

Now the newsflash - a report on current events in the city. Not content to leave them to attempted infiltration by singular intrepid females, COME AS YOU ARE has joined with a group of Toronto women under the auspices of ACT (the AIDS Committee of Toronto), to transform one of our city's bathhouse haunts for men into a pleasure palace for women (only) for one night in June. In the works are theme rooms, performances, video lounge and more - a smorgasbord of sexual entertainment and possibilities hosted by lovely ladies hell-bent on encouraging and facilitating your wildest night. And this is how you can be part of it: besides showing up on the night itself, ready to play, the organizers are seeking a small army of committed, responsible volunteers. Do your part to promote sex right here in your own backyard. Call 340-8484 xt. 225.

The theme for our "toys" and "books" sections in this newsletter is new technologies and the internet - in anticipation of the impending launch of the COME AS YOU ARE web-site. By the time you receive our next newsletter in June, we will be on-line!

Books

Books are one of the oldest forms of technology we carry in the store, but writers have certainly not ignored the lure of the virtual world. Dubbed the "Queen of High-Tech Porn," Lisa Palac got her start as an assistant editor at On Our Backs and went on to become the editor of Future Sex and co-producer of the famed Cyborgasm virtual audio series. She is also a widely published writer of erotica and sexual commentary. Her new book, The Edge of the Bed: how dirty pictures changed my life, is a revealing, honest self-portrayal by a spunky, sexy intellectual. Palac chronicles her journey into her career as a feminist pornographer - and along the way tackles the thorny issues of sex and religion (you guess it - Catholicism), the perils of being a woman on the make, the myth of the VR suit and more. An impassioned voice of sexual liberation and an incurable romantic, Palac's heartfelt and intelligent prose joins the work of other pro-sex feminists who are personally and politically charting a new sexual landscape.

As the virtual world reaches its tentacles into our lives, so there is an increase in the books that document our development into web creatures. Here are a couple recent books that focus exclusively on the sexual dimensions of cyber- technologies. In Virtual Spaces: sex and the cybercitizen, anthropologist Cleo Odzer chronicles her voyages in the world of cybersex, exploring as well its emotional, psychological and communal dimensions. Martha Baer's protagonist in As Francesca finds the virtual world offers excitement and sexual possibilities not found in "real life" - with thrilling, chilling results. The Edge of the Bed (hc) 29.95 Virtual Spaces 20.00 As Francesca 17.95

Toys

For something a little different, for a little pizazz, here are some new toys that will cheer any rainy day. These toys are where high tech meets fun sex. Excellent materials that look good and feel even better.

First off, we have new silicone dildos by Dills for Does. These dildos have great shapes and have a really nice feel to them. A small woman-owned company Dills for Does makes wacky creations. A sampling of the creative genius at work here are two dildos: the Kitty (in the shape of a cat) and the Licker (in the shape of a large tongue). Definitely something different in a dildo, but much more fun than the same old shapes. As well as coming in exciting shapes, these dildos come in some great colours including metallic silver and gold. Looking for that Star Trek, cyberpunk, year 2000, space funk look? Toys like Ping, Voyager and the Jane Wa butt plug are dazzling. Make a fashion statement in your bedroom or wherever you find yourself flaunting your stuff.

New accessories for dildos are now available. Lube and latex can be joined by inventive contraptions like the Slip-Not and the Coupler. The Coupler can join any two dildoes into a double-header. The Slip-Not gives any dildo a wider base. This means that almost any dildo can now fit into a harness. These accessories widen the options you have with your favourite dildo(s). It's like the Transformers you had as a kid, but more fun than robots or airplanes. You may think it's just any old dildo, but wait - now it's a double-header.

Another new toy is the Fleshlight - which combines new plastic materials and is well-made and technologically-sound. This is a new toy that makes everyone want a penis. An insertion toy for men, the Fleshlight looks like a flashlight or a thermos. Inside it is the most incredible-feeling plastic. Finally, a toy for men that is good quality and very well-made. This toy comes in blue or pink - and feels so good. Heat it up under warm water and just add some lube. The Jetsons never had it this good.

Kitty 64.00; Licker 70.00; Ping 65.00; Voyager 40.00; Jane Wa butt plug 37.00; Coupler 21.00; Slip-Not 6.00; Fleshlight 76.00

Art Currently showing on the walls at COME AS YOU ARE until April 15 are the erotic drawings and paintings of Gene Machida. From April 16 to May 27, we are exhibiting another series of erotic drawings - these by Jean-Guy Carisse. And, the paintings of artist Fiona Smyth will be on view from May 28 to July 8.

Workshops

Tantric Breathing

April 29 7:00 - 10:00

Learn to work with the energy in your body through conscious breathing techniques; with facilitator Matthew Simmons. Cost is $15.

Energetic Massage for couples

May 2 1:00 - 6:00 pm

May 9 1:00 - 6:00 pm

Cultivating erotic energy through massage is a powerful technique to connect with a partner on a deeper spiritual/physical level, as well as a playful approach to intimacy. In this two-part, hands-on workshop you will learn how to give and receive an erotic massage. The first part will be teaching women how to give a Male Genital Massage to their partners and the second part will be teaching men how to give a Yoni Massage. This workshop is also open to same-sex couples (single session at a reduced rate). This is a clothes-off workshop and you will work only with the partner you attend with. Cost is $180 per couple.

The Ethical Lover

May 5, 12 & 19 7:30 - 10:00 pm

Drawing from the bestselling book, The Ethical Slut, and principles of negotiation and consent in responsible BDSM relationships, this workshop is a chance to explore with other women ways to create rewarding sexual relationships. It doesn't matter is you are young or old, queer or straight, or if you prefer monogamy, non-monogamy, polyamory, BDSM or being single. For women only; facilitator is Leanne Cusitar. Cost is $20.

Pre-registration is necessary for all workshops. Sliding scale is available. For more info or to register, please call Sarah at COME AS YOU ARE, 416-504-7934.