Newsletter No. 42: SUMMER 2008

Too Tall Blondes:  Meet Kate Bornstein and Barbara Carrellas

Kate Bornstein is an author, playwright and performance artist best known for her book Gender Outlaws and most recently the powerful and practical Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws. Barbara Carrellas is an author, educator, and co-founder of Erotic Awakening. Her most recent book is Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. 

Kate and Barbara sat down with us to talk about their May visit to Toronto.

Q.  For folks who aren't familiar with your work can you describe what they can expect?  

Barbara: I'll be facilitating two of my favorite workshops; Tantric Connection for Couples and Tantric BDSM.  Urban Tantra is an approach to sacred sexuality that adapts and blends conscious sexuality practices from Tantra to S/M into a hot and healing brand of sex for the 21st century sensualist. I created it especially for people who thought they would not like Tantra. The workshops are very down-to-earth, entertaining, and completely queer-inclusive.

Kate:  The piece I'm performing is called On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us. It's sort of my "greatest hits" of spoken word pieces. The evening includes over 15 years of work, from my first book, Gender Outlaw, to a piece from my new memoir, to be published fall 2009, Kate Bornstein Is A Queer and Pleasant Danger. The evening gives a good picture of how a nice Jewish boy like me became a bad girl-and from there how I became a nice, bad not-man, not-woman. There’s laughs, there's tears, there's postmodern pranks and poetry. 

Q.  You've both devoted your lives to helping others realize positive change around sex and gender. What do you think people need to make that change?

Barbara: I'm reminded of the joke: How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one - but the light bulb has to really want to change.  We are each on our own personal sexual evolutionary path. When we stop comparing ourselves to others we begin to be able to enjoy our own journey for exactly what it is---our unique individual experience. All that is really required for change is a natural curiosity about what's around the next erotic corner and a wee bit of faith that you're strong enough and smart enough to enjoy what you find.

Q.  Is there a story behind the name of your website, Too Tall Blondes?

Kate: In 1997, I was living in Seattle, WA.. I was an owned and collared slave, and I was in the process of writing two books: My Gender Workbook, and a novel Nearly Roadkill. Within the space of three months the two dykes who owned me broke up, and I was suddenly and heart-breakingly free; my mom died; and I was diagnosed with leukemia. It was a suicidal time in my life. Rather than do myself in, I went blonde and I moved to New York City to become a star. That's where I ran into Barbara. Long story made short, that's when we got together. We were both blondes then. Far too blonde. And we were both too tall for the average onlooker to ignore. So: Too Tall Blondes.

News

Kate Bornstein

Join us for two nights with Kate Bornstein at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, May 23rd and 24th. Kate will be performing her popular show On Men, Women, and the Rest of Us. Combining monologue with slam poetry and postmodern stand-up slapstick, Kate’s brand of humour and cutting-edge cultural insight is guaranteed to entertain and enlighten. The evening also includes excerpts from her new memoir, Kate Bornstein Is A Queer and Pleasant Danger, due to be published in March of 2009.  Tickets are $20 ($15 in advance), available at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre at www.artsexy.ca or 416-975-8555. For more info check out www.katebornstein.com.

Tantra for the 21st Century

Author of the hugely popular book, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century, Barbara Carrellas offers a unique twist on traditional teachings of Tantra. Barbara has a respectable and easily accessible approach that takes into account the busy lives we lead and our desire for sexual exploration that is applicable for a myriad of orientations and genders. We’re delighted to have her facilitate two workshops:  Urban Tantra: Tantric Connections for Couples and Tantric BDSM. To pre-register call 416-504-7934 or check out our full line of workshops at www.comeasyouare.com.

Love the Earth!

We’re committed to offering greener solutions for our customers’ desires and we’re happy to say we’ve started seeing a trend in the industry towards more environmentally conscious materials and toys that are made to last rather than clog up the landfill. Two new examples are our rechargeable vibes: the best-selling Lelo Nea and Fun Factory's Delight which are made of cleaner, safer materials and eliminate the need for batteries. For our customers who remain faithful to their battery operated vibes, don't forget to bring us your used batteries – we continue to offer our battery recycling program free to our customers for guilt-free pleasure. 

Toys

The latest pleasure object from Lelo is the pint-sized Lelo Liv.  Liv is perfect for folks who want a rechargeable vibe for g-spot stimulation, but don't want anything too big or intimidating.  Perfect for g-spot or clitoral stimulation, Liv is made of body-safe silicone and is super easy to clean too! $110
 
Another great silicone piece from Vixen Creations, Soft Serve is made from their trademark realistic feel silicone which offers a skin-like texture with hypoallergenic silicone.  Even with its extreme ridges, Soft Serve is made of such soft and pliable silicone that you'll experience each one as a gentle wave of pleasure. $85

Is your dungeon closed for maintenance?  Can't fit your Saint Andrew's cross in your new condo? The Sportsheets Door Jam Kit is for you.  This kit contains two durable nylon wrist restraints and two tethers that allow you to tie up anyone anywhere there's a door!  Each tether is attached to an acrylic 'stopper' that prevents the tethers from moving when the door is closed.  $29

Are you hardcore enough to rock this harness from Outlaw Leather?  The Syd's leather stylings come in classic patent (red or black)leather and each harness comes complete with pyramid rivets and requisite safety pins.  Like all Outlaw Harnesses, Syd can accommodate two dildos so both partners can rock out at once!  Fits up to 54" waist, and any dildo with a diameter up to 2". $115

The bGee is the smoothest and sleekest g-spot vibe around.  Made of soft and velvety hard plastic, this phthalate-free g-spot vibrator is fully waterproof and offers superior dial-style variable-speed control. bGee is one of our more slender g-spot toys, and will be a great choice for anyone who shies away from bigger penetrative toys.  Like all bSwish toys, the bGee is available in an attractive and subtle colour range;  blue, purple and grey and each toy includes a sexy storage satchel. $40

Books

Marking its 15th anniversary, Best of the Best American Erotica 2008 features selections from the entire series as well as new climactic, edgy and smart erotica. From stories of bondage in Susie Bright's Story of O Birthday, to taboo twins in Rowan Elizabeth's Halves, to a story about test driving a new sex toy in Joe Maynard's Fleshlight, this top selling erotica will leave your pulse racing and your breath heavy. $16

The Best Gay Erotica 2008 contains delightful tales to tickle every inch of your body and soul. A collection of tantalizing and sultry men exploring their boundaries in the classroom, the change room, the subway, the garden and beyond. The Best Gay Erotica 2008 will quench your thirst for juicy material. $15.50

Twenty one sultry tales of erotic adventures that leap off the page and into your bed, The Best Women's Erotica 2008 has finally arrived with more deliciously spontaneous stories than ever. Submission, domination, voyeurism…this collection has it all. Don’t miss Alison Tyler's Mathew, Mark, Luke and John a taboo story about a young Jewish girl in a Christian iconography class charged with tutoring four young jocks. The Best Women's Erotica 2008 has proven again why it is one of our top favorites! $16.50

Not your typical book of nude photography, XXX 30 Porn Star Portraits features insightful commentary on pornography and culture from the likes of Nancy Friday, John Malkovich, Ron Jeremy, Nina Hartley and many more. Featuring Timothy Greenfield-Sanders striking portraits that juxtapose what’s real and what’s fantastical about 30 of today's top porn stars. XXX 30 Porn Star Portraits feeds your mind as well as your libido.  $27

S.E.X delivers on its promise as an all-you-need-to-know, progressive sex survival guide to get you through high school and college.  Covering sex, relationships, gender and orientation, S.E.X. also delves into issues of negative body images that many teens and even adults struggle with everyday. S.E.X. identifies with today's teens in a way that positively reinforces sex, without the fear of the unknown. $20.95

DVD’s

Possibly our favourite series of all time, Tristan Taormino's Chemistry, is back with a third volume. The set up is the same;  six actors are let loose in a house for 36 hours to get up to whatever they please.  Through interviews comparing their real lives with their sex-work lives, talking about what they think of everyone else in the house, and explaining what they liked about each scene, we bond with the characters as we watch sex the way they want to have it.  Derrick Pierce's honesty, Roxy DeVille's wild voices and antics and Jada Fire's hilarious laugh all complete the package. $40

Pin Up Pussy is an outstanding and sultry salute to the gorgeous pin up girls of the 40s and the sex they had. Fun and light, this no-dialogue film features good looking actors posing as the crew mate, the pilot, the housewife, the boxing ring card girl and more. Lots of big band music and fun sex make this something of a feel good favourite. $29

It’s December 21, 2012 and the world is coming to an end. What better way to celebrate then to cast off all of your inhibitions and have a no-holds barred sex party? This is what two long-time friends decide to do, and after throwing a way-hot wild orgy, wake up the next morning and have fallen deeply and truly in love. Hilarious and surprisingly well acted Crescendo 2012 is a wild romp with a heart of gold. A great date movie! $40

Babysitters is a new, top-quality porn that never ceases to amaze. With a light and comedic plot, this DVD features the finest actors in the business having searing hot sex. Every scene is a keeper (but the Tupperware party interrupted is definitely a stand out). Believable acting and a truly funny script make Babysitters definitely worth all the hype. $35

She's My Man is overflowing with cute scenarios and even cuter girls. Featuring real lesbians with diverse body satisfying themselves and their partners, She’s My Man is a more mainstream twist on the indie girls-who-love-girls genre. $35

Workshops

May 6, 7:30 – 10:00
Taming the Green Monster
Polyamory and Jealousy
With Dana Shaw
All genders

May 14, 7:30 – 10:00
Men Flirting with Women
With Dana Shaw
Men and trans men only

May 25, 5:30 – 8:00pm
Urban Tantra
Tantric Connections for Couples
With Barbara Carrellas
Couples only – all orientations

May 26, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Tantric BDSM
With Barbara Carrellas
All genders

June 16, 7:30 – 10:00
Women Flirting with Women
With Dana Shaw
Women and trans women only

June 22, 5:30 – 8:00pm
How to Eat a Peach
The Art of Cunnilingus
With Midori
All genders

June 23, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Hands on Rope Bondage
With Midori
Couples only – all orientations

June 24, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Joystick Pleasures
How to Please Your Man
With Midori
All genders

June 25, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Improve Your Flogging Skills
With Midori
All genders