Newsletter No. 43: FALL 2008

Monogamy without Monotony and Exploring the Female Orgasm

Jamye Waxman has talked to thousands of people about their sex lives.  She’s an author and sex educator who throws herself deep into her work (see her turn in front of the camera in Betty Dodson’s Orgasmic Women).  In anticipation of two October workshops at Come As You Are, we caught up with Jamye to ask her about her book, workshops, and why she never tires of talking sex.

Q: As the author of Getting Off, A Woman’s Guide to Masturbation, are you constantly being hit up for sex advice? 

JW: The most common question I get is “What is the A-spot?” The A-spot is on the top wall of the vagina, farther back than the G-spot, towards the cervix. It’s another spot, or option, if G-spot stimulation doesn’t do it for her and she still wants to try internal penetration during masturbation, or if a woman is learning how to ejaculate. Not that any woman needs to learn how to ejaculate, she doesn’t. But if she wants to, then the A-spot is another destination in her “yoni-verse.”

Q: One of the workshops you're giving at Come As You Are is called Monogamy without Monotony.  Is that possible?

JW: It’s possible to avoid long bouts of monotony in monogamy if you’re willing to try new things. Relationships need to break old habits in order to feel fresh and alive, and even simple things like wearing a wig can change our sexual or sensual relations. So yeah, it’s possible to break monotonous routines, but like other aspects of relationships, it requires a little bit of work. But it’s fun work, I promise.

Q: What can people expect from your other workshop on female orgasm?

JW: To enjoy learning a whole host of things about the female pleasure zones, including different techniques women can use to achieve orgasm and different types of orgasms women have. We’ll talk about positions for maximum satisfaction as well as pleasure points like the G-spot and the A-spot. We’ll also practice our PC muscle exercises (cause they can make a good orgasm great!) and plunge into the world of female ejaculation. 

Q:  How would you describe your writing and teaching style?

JW: Fun and playful! I look at myself as both an educator and a facilitator, a person out there to share information with the group (sometimes in the form of too much personal information) and receive information from the group. I encourage participation as much, or as little, as each person feels comfortable. In workshops I bring lots of props and often share them with the group. And I encourage laughter. Lots of laughter.

Q: What's your favourite thing about sex (personally or professionally)?

JW: It’s one topic that never gets old; it’s part of our innate way of being. Sexuality is programmed into our genes, and something we can all experience in one way or another. And I love that it’s something we can all continue to learn about and expand upon because there’s always someone, somewhere, doing it just a little different than we are. 

News

Sex Ed. Contest
We’re life long learners at Come As You Are.  In our curriculum, sexuality is just as important as math or home ec. This is the inspiration for our Scholastic Sex Ed Contest. Send us an email to contest@comeasyouare.com with the most unusual sex fact you learned in the school yard and later discovered to be untrue. The best entries will be posted on our website (anonymously, of course) and one lucky student will win a collection of educational DVDs to support their continuing education.

Austin Unbound: Toronto Premiere Screening
Join us for a special advanced screening of Austin Unbound by Eliza Greenwood From the age of three, Austin knew that his female anatomy did not fit him. In middle school, he changed his name and began to dress as a boy. Today, Austin identifies as a straight man and a member of the Portland queer ASL community.  Austin Unbound documents this Deaf man's choice to get a double mastectomy, his life with his family and his experiences with his local queer ASL community. Screening followed by panel discussion with filmmaker and Austin. Saturday September 27, 8pm at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, 12 Alexander St. Tickets available at the door, $5 or pwyc. ASL & English translation will be provided. Co-sponsored by the Ontario Rainbow Alliance of the Deaf, Lesbian and Gay Community Appeal, and Inside Out Film Festival. 

Sex Workshops from NYC
We’re excited to announce that Jayme Waxman will be visiting Toronto at the beginning of October. Her first stop will be a free book signing and reading at Type (883 Queen St. W.) on Sunday October 5th at 2pm. She’s offering workshops on Monday and Tuesday (October 6 & 7), first Monogamy without Monotony and followed by Uncovering the O. Jayme has traveled across the continent giving workshops and is known for her frank and fun approach to sex and the body. To pre-register call 416-504-7934 or sign up online at www.comeasyouare.com.

Books

In Getting Off: A Woman's Guide to Masturbation, Jayme Waxman helps set the record straight on masturbation, debunking myths and offering tips and techniques for the beginner and pro alike.  Filled with information on the history of female masturbation, to everything you ever wanted to know about vibrators and other sex toys, this book really puts the power back in the hands of women who just want to get off. $19.95
He Comes Next: The Thinking Woman's Guide to Pleasuring a Man is filled with lots of great techniques that will blow him away (pun intended). But it’s simple premise and cute cover conceal something more helpful and insightful than tips alone.  Author Ian Kerner opens the gateway into male psychology and issues affecting male desire and puts the emphasis on creating a great relationship built on good communication. He Comes Next is an easy, enjoyable and informative read that is sure to be an instant success. Hardcover, $32.95.
Sexier Sex: Lessons from the Brave New Sexual Frontier just might be the perfect guidebook for the voyeuristic, technology obsessed seductress in all of us. Written for women but really good for anyone looking for supportive and fresh ideas on how to spice up your sex life through technology (ranging from cell phones to avatars).  With chapters covering self-discovery, flirting, raunchy sex, safety and breakups, this book is at once specific and comprehensive. $16.50
What happens in long term relationships where sex drives go off the rails?  How come you used to be perfectly in synch and now you seem to be running on different lines? In   When Your Sex Drives Don't Match sex therapist Sandra Pertot offers a way of thinking of sex drives in relationships and how to begin to get your sex life back on track.  Using case studies, tips, exercises, and quizzes, this book helps you identify, understand and work through many common sexual concerns about mismatched sex drives. The examples and text are written for straight couples but the information and advice can be applied to all of us trying to figure out what’s gone wrong in our sexual relationships and how we can fix the problems.  $18.95
Refreshingly honest and explicitly satisfying Cross Dressing is an enticing new short fiction collection from Rachel Kramer Bussel.  Whether you enjoy wearing women's panties, dressing as a man in private or in public, or you just like reading about other people’s escapades, this anthology is sure to get your libido roaring. With an introduction from Veronica Vera. $16
Toys

From the makers of the Aneros prostate massager comes the Aneros Peridise, an anal massager for people of all genders.  Available in beginner and advanced models, the Aneros Peridise is hands-free and great for solo or partner play.  Like the other Aneros models, you use your own PC muscles to create sensation instead of moving the toy itself. Now everyone can enter Peridise! $55

When we first introduced you to The Cone we were blown away by the inventive design, strong gold brush motor, high-end durability and of course, your incredible response.  The only complaint we've ever received about The Cone is that it was only available in pink. We passed on your pleas and the manufacturer has listened.  The bestselling Cone, completely with all the features you love is now available in black! $130
 
We've grown to love and appreciate the liberator shapes for their perfect angles, durable construction, and all the new positions we have discovered because of them.  Now, we're happy to bring all of you the Liberator Black Label Ramp & Wedge.  Just like the originals but with the added feature of four moveable anchors and restraints to add an element of light bondage.  They’ve even kindly added a blindfold with the kit. $280
 
The makers of OhMiBod have built their reputation on developing high-quality sex toys that work with our already ubiquitous personal technology.  Their newest creation, NaughtiNano, continues the tradition but offers a high quality, high powered vibrator that is a joy to use on it’s own. NaughtiNano may be used with or without your MP3 player, is phthalate-free and variable-speed. $80
 
From the fertility-friendly folks who brought us Pre-Seed, Pre-Lube is a sperm-friendly lubricant that has been clinically shown to not harm sperm. Unlike the original, Pre-Lube can be used internally or externally for everyday sex or when you're trying to conceive. With no bulky applicator, Pre-Lube comes in individually wrapped sachets making them easy to transport and easy to use too. Pack of five, $11

DVD’s

If you've ever wanted to create your own DIY sexy video, Seymore Butts’s Do It Yourself Porn is the movie to go to for all the tricks of the trade. Learn about supplies needed, lighting techniques, editing tips and more from the expert of DIY porn. Watch a totally unedited scene turn into a full-blown edited sex scene in front of your eyes, and also get a glimpse of what happens in the porn world when the cameras aren't rolling. Educational and fun! $29

A follow up to smash-hit Babysitters, Cheerleaders is a fun frolic that lives up to its predecessor. A truth or dare game in the locker room becomes the setting for vivid descriptions of the girls' naughty adventures, and ends up in a wild free-for-all girl orgy. The spark that this movie produces is beyond belief! Every scene screams with team spirit but the detention room scene and coach Kaplan’s subsequent seduction is not to be missed. Heterosexual focus. $35 

Arguably the crown jewel of Belladonna's illustrious career, this edition of Belladonna's Fucking Girls 5 is our favourite of her girl-only series. Bella is the kind of director that makes sure all the charisma, chemistry and charm that's happening in each scene shines through to make the viewer feel lucky to be watching it.  With an emphasis on real passion and a feeling of genuine enjoyment throughout, you won’t want to miss the outstanding scene between Joanna Angel and Belladonna or Roxy Deville's bonus scene on disc two - watch her get up to some naughty housewife fun after baking some cookies! $40

It is always wonderful to have independent Canadian movies, and even better when they totally rock! Good Dyke Porn is, as director/performer Bren Ryder puts it, exactly what it says it is. Shot well and starring some noteworthy performances with a healthy sprinkling of sexually-charged giggling as well as light to harder power-play and fisting, this movie features real people that really love what they're doing and really give it up. $29

Flatmate From Heaven is the tale of a gay couple who rent out their spare room to the hunky Antonio, who earns his money on a little side-project - sleeping with other hot dudes for cash. As you can imagine, some of the clients end up getting a little more than they paid for when the other two guys keep joining in. Luckily, Antonio doesn't have to keep his little business venture a secret, and not to give anything away, but everything works out just fine in the end! For those who like a good story with acting, energy and lots of great sex, this will be a sure hit. $29

Workshops

September 16, 7:30 – 10pm
Female Ejaculation
With Shannon Bell
Women, trans people and men accompanied by women.

September 27, 7:30 – 10pm
Hole Lotta’ Lovin’: An Anal Play Workshop
With Andrea Zanin
All genders.

September 28, 5:30 – 8pm
Body Language: Creating an Erotic Scene
With Andrea Zanin
All genders.

October 6, 7:30 – 9pm
Monogamy Without Monotony
With Jayme Waxman
All genders.

October 7, 7:30 – 9pm
Uncovering the O: Female Orgasms and More!
With Jayme Waxman
All genders.

October 26, 5:30 – 8pm
Seduction by Voice & Erotic Storytelling
With Midori.
All genders.

October 27, 7:30 – 10:00pm
How to Eat a Peach: The Art of Cunnilingus
With Midori
All genders.

October 28, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Hands-On Rope Bondage
With Midori
Couples only – all orientations welcome.

October 29, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Joystick Secrets: How to Please a Man
With Midori
All genders.

November 2, 5:30 – 8pm
Intro to Erotic Photo
With Chris Ablett & Leanne Gillard
All genders.

November 4, 7:30 – 10pm
Take it Off with Confidence
With Jade
Women and trans people only.

November 9, 5:30 – 8pm
Intimate Self Portraits
With Chris Ablett & Leanne Gillard
All genders.

November 16, 5:30 – 8pm
Fun with Fetish Photography
With Chris Ablett & Leanne Gillard
All genders.

November 23, 5:30 – 8pm
Erotic Photo Show & Tell
With Chris Ablett & Leanne Gillard
All genders.