Newsletter No. 45: VALENTINES 2009

Valentine’s turns most of us into day dreamers.  We dream of love, or lust, or both.  Some of us want love and lust that lasts a lifetime, and others just want it to last until the end of the night. Working at a sex shop we talk to a lot of people about their romantic and erotic wishes, and whenever we do it brings to mind another topic near and dear to our hearts, one we think about a lot around Valentine’s Day:  sustainability.  

When you think of the word sustainability you may be thinking of the way a forest is cut down, or the decision to buy bamboo clothing over cotton.  We think about these things too, and our buyers are always on the look out for merchandise that is sustainable (check out the NobEssence wood dildos in this newsletter). But sustainability means more than this to us.

The idea of sustainability is a core belief of Come As You Are and is reflected in every one of our business practices. It’s related to one of the fundamental differences between worker co-ops and regular undemocratic businesses.  Their primary mandate is to maximize profits, period. Ours is to keep our members employed by ensuring the health and sustainability of the co-op.  Their model results in executives with multi-million dollar bonuses and companies that crash and burn, leaving thousands of low level employees out of work.  Our model results in a less glamorous but more sustainable future, one where the financial success of individual workers is intimately tied to the financial and long term success of the co-op.  Not only do you never have a co-op where one person makes 100 times what another makes, no individual member is able to make decisions that jeopardize the co-operative without the input and agreement of the other members.  It’s not that we don’t take risks; it’s just that we put the sustainability of our co-operative above short term financial gain, and we value the input of all our workers, not just the ones with MBAs (actually we don’t have any workers with MBAs).

Sustainability is also like great sex in that involves a measure of respect.  To run a company in a sustainable way means that we care enough about what we do and believe in it enough to want it to out last our own individual efforts.  Whether it’s a one night stand or a long term relationship we try to approach sex the same way.

And so we think about sustainability as being an expression of how much we both love and lust after the idea of Come As You Are.  It’s an idea that keeps us going through the high and low times and it’s one that we feel should be around long after we are gone. 

News

Be Whisked Away for Romance this Valentine’s Day
Win a romantic weekend in Toronto at the Drake Hotel and a shopping trip at your favourite Queen West sex shop. Go to www.thedrakehotel.ca/valentines to be entered in a raffle to win a decadent one night’s stay at the Drake Hotel, a romantic dinner in their award winning dining room, a $150 shopping spree at Come As You Are, as well as a delightful brunch the next morning. 

Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair

Valentine’s Day is the most romantic holiday of the year and we’re celebrating this year with our annual Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair. A great place to get a last minute one-of-a-kind gift or a romantic afternoon spent at the historic Gladstone Hotel partaking in erotic art and culture. Take your pick and enjoy sumptuous handmade lingerie, knitted dildo cozies or original silk screened prints. Saturday February 14th, 12pm – 8pm at the Gladstone Hotel, 1214 Queen St. W. For more info and to see images of past participants, check out www.eroticartsandcrafts.com.

Kate Bornstein
Author and performance artist, Kate Bornstein returns with a free performance at University of Toronto. Drawing from hir inspiring book Hello, Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks, and Other Outlaws, Kate will be performing Dangerous Dreams and Damned Desires — the personal politics of sex positivism and gender anarchy. With this performance, Kate Bornstein gently leads each member of the audience as close to the edge as they're willing to go. Tuesday March 17th 6pm at the University College, Room 140 (15 King’s College Circle). Co-sponsored by Come As You Are, The Institute for Women and Gender Studies, Mark S. Bonham Centre for Sexual Diversity Studies, Sexual Diversity Studies Student’s Union, University of Toronto Sexual Education and Peer Counselling Centre and LGBTOUT. For more info call 416-504-7934 or www.comeasyouare.com. 

Midnight Mayhem Sale
Find out what all the excitement is about at our annual Midnight Mayhem sale. Come As You Are raids the shelves and drops the prices on over-stock and under-performers. Come for the great prices and hourly door prizes but stick around for the fabulously sex-positive partying, great tunes by our own DJ Winnie, delicious erotic cupcakes and of course our popular toonie bin. Friday March 27 9pm – 12am, 701 Queen St. W. For more info call 416-504-7934. 

Books

Marking the end of an era, X: The Erotic Treasury features Susie Bright's favourite selections from the fifteen year run of the Best American Erotica series.  Not only does this selection feature some of the raciest erotica we've seen from this series, it comes in a super sexy red slipcover that begs to be left out on any nightstand. A great gift for anyone who wants erotica that looks as sexy as it reads! $38.95

Whether it’s being tied to a tree or spanked with a leather paddle, it can sometimes be a little nerve wracking telling our partners about our fantasies. If you've ever wanted to tell your partner your fantasies, but have never known how, we've found the perfect book for you! Nicotext's Guide to Doing Me: and Doing Me Right is a great book full of cute exercises and notes that can show anyone exactly how to do you.  So whether you do it with a partner or give it to someone as a gift, the Guide to Doing Me: and Doing Me Right is guaranteed to let that someone special know exactly what turns you on.
 
Do you ever wish that you had kept all those old Playboy magazines you had? We do! Now you can enjoy the Playboys you loved with this excellent book of photographs.  Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds is the ultimate collection of all the magazine's centerfolds, starting with the very first centerfold in December 1953 with the beautiful Marilyn Monroe to December 2007 with the lovely Sasckya Porto. So whether you're a real Playboy enthusiast or just interested in the past decades of erotic photography, this collection is guaranteed to please. Includes an introduction by Hugh Hefner. $55

What's on your bucket list? Is it going to Paris? Is it jumping out of a plane? Or are you still wondering what to plan for your life? We have an idea…how about starting your list on the naughtier side of things? 101 Places To Have Sex Before You Die is a fun travel size workbook listing everyday places where you can spice up your life. Why not leave the bedroom behind and try something adventurous? Either way you choose, this book with its helpful icons, difficulty rating system and quirky places to have sex will fulfill all your adventurous hankerings. $15.50
 
From the great minds who brought you Sex Scratchers comes a new and improved naughtier version Kinky Sex Scratchers - 120 super sexy lottery tickets. Filled with wild and kinky prizes from dirty talk to bondage and spanking to role playing, all you have to do is sneak some tickets into your lover’s wallet/purse and watch them scratch the play area to reveal their surprise. Be it: No Limit Sex-Us Hold 'Em, Sex Toy Spree, or a game of Bondage Billiards, why not let these sexy lottery tickets take you and yours on a ravenously kinky romp through the sheets, and everywhere in between? $13.50

Toys

Does spin-the-bottle evoke sexy memories of your misspent youth?  The folks at Jimmyjane have captured the essence of this sexy game of chance and have even upped the ante a bit. Intended to be played by two or more, Spin Me comes complete with bottle, cork and "Adventure Strips" containing instructions and inspiration to spice up this classic game. We can only hope that they set their sights on a grown-up version of seven minutes in heaven next. $40

We love Nexus for their innovative silicone prostate toys, but we love them even more now that they're spreading the love to folks of all genders. The Nexus G-Play is a multi-function and multi-speed silicone vibe that works as well working the prostate as it does for g-spot play. The sleek, slender shape and variable speeds make it ideal for prostate and penetration play for newbies and anyone who likes a small but mighty vibe. Comes in three sizes. $33 - $53
 
These unique, German-made sex toys look more like retro futuristic space shuttles than dildos, but it is their smooth space-age stylings that make them so darn sexy and useful.  With a patented screw-on suction cup, SinFive's Burgono is transformed instantly from the perfect partner-guided toy, to the ideal self-love instrument.  No matter how to choose to spend your Valentine's, SinFive's got you covered. $95
 
Experience sex furniture that makes sex more fun and looks great doing it.  Love Bumper's ergonomic sex shapes anticipate the natural curves of the human body and work with you to open up the sexual possibilities with less strain on the body.  Love Bumper makes a wide range of models in styles so nice, you'll want to leave your Love Bumper out between sessions.  Many models have inserts for a strategically located Lelo vibe. $90 - $200
 
Have more than a mere fling with NobEssence this Valentine's!  NobEssence's exotic hardwood sex toys give sex and nature lovers a sustainable and natural option other sex toy materials just can't provide.  NobEssence's g-spot and anal toy Fling has a unique non-porous and non-toxic finish making it ideal for all sorts of messy sex play.  With built-in finger holds and an angled head, Fling is easy to hang on to and manipulate inside your lover's body no matter how long your Valentine's evening goes on. $160

DVD’s

What happens when you mix great acting, top stars, excellent filming, a fantastic sense of humor and a great plot? You end up with One Wild & Crazy Night! With college graduation approaching, the roommates find out their landlord won't return their security deposit. So to make the best of the situation, they throw a massive house party with bands, party favours, flown-in internet porn stars and more…even the dean shows up for some extracurricular action! A truly enjoyable movie with enough laughs and solid enough acting to make this a stand-out flick. Roxy DeVille owns! $35 
 
Energetic, athletic sex between studly (and stubbly) hunks is the order of the day in Desperate Househusbands 2. When the men get caught cheating on their wives - with each other - and thrown out of their houses, they find much more time to indulge in what they really want. With an outstandingly attractive cast and a great mix of group sex as well as one on one, the husbands aim to please. $29 

When six authors of erotica meet for their weekly wine night, we get to take a look inside their thoughts to uncover the new fantasies they've got cooking. Kinky Cock Tales features an excellent variety of positions and pair-ups, but contrary to the title, there is no traditional "kink" in the movie other than some very light bondage. Definitely one to check out! $40 

The life and death of cheerleaders… Debbie Does Dallas Again is back this time directed by Paul Thomas. Debbie suffers an accident, but after "using her charms" up in heaven, gets granted another chance on Earth in another body. Her rival teammate has taken over her squad and her dude, so our reincarnated Debbie has to show everyone who's boss. Big budget and great acting plus scalding sex with plenty of girl/girl scenes and an orgy climax make this blockbuster quite the success. Showtime even made a TV show series about the making of this film! 3 disc set includes the original DDD from 1978. $45 

Join Betty Dodson in The Orgasm Doctor, as she gets one-on-one in two separate, private coaching sessions. Perfect for those who want to learn more about orgasms or how to have them more frequently and more intensely. Betty discusses techniques for solo play as well as incorporating these techniques into partner sex. $45 

Workshops

February 18, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Men Flirting with Women Workshop
With Dana Shaw
Men and Trans Men Only

February 22, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Canes & Caning: An Introduction
With Canemaker Adrian
All Genders

February 24, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Take it Off with Confidence
With Jade
Women and Trans Women Only

March 3, 7:30 – 9:00pm
The Ultimate Thud
With Andrea Zanin
All Genders

March 15, 5:30 – 8:00pm
Urban Tantra
With Barbara Carrellas
Couples Only – All Orientations Welcome.

March 16, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Kinky Tantra
With Barbara Carrellas
All Genders

March 19, 7:30 – 10:00pm
Role Play: Deeper and More Delicious Than Ever Before
With Kate Bornstein
All Genders