Newsletter No. 48: WINTER 2009

You’d think with a store full of erotic goodies that we’d want to use this space to tell you about the hottest vibrators and best DVD gift sets for holiday giving.  But we’re not your usual sex shop or your usual co-op, so we rarely do things the usual way.  What we want to tell you about instead is what we think our real gift is as a company; our sexual culture and values.  We recently launched our new website and made public a document we’d been working on for some time, the eleven core values of Come As You Are.  Over the next few newsletters we want to share these with you.  As this is the season of giving and receiving, we thought we’d start with values that reflect the importance of both to sexual pleasure, health, and happiness. 

Core Value #10: Be Generous

Being generous means putting ourselves in other people’s shoes.

There's so much sexual judgment in our world. Come As You Are is a place free of that, where you'll find compassion and empathy wherever you are in your sexual exploration and development.

We don’t believe anything good comes from withholding knowledge, particularly about sex. Ask us anything about our products and our co-op; we guarantee you an honest answer. Ask us twelve more questions and we’ll come back with more information. We don’t think there’s such a thing as too many questions and want people to know what they’re getting before they buy it.

Our spirit of generosity begins inside our co-operative. In addition to profit sharing and health benefits, we support an extensive continuing education program that encourages personal and professional growth, as well as in-store workshops and a fully subsidized educational outreach program.

Core Value #1:  Sex the Way You Want It

The Come As You Are culture believes you should have the kind of sex you want, not settle for the kind you (ought to) have.

Being sex positive at Come As You Are means considering sexuality to be a site of tremendous health, pleasure and strength in our lives. We also realize that many of us have experienced physical, emotional, and psychic pain around sexuality. We are great cheerleaders of the positive potential of sex, but proceed with respect and awareness that sometimes sex can feel too painful to talk about.

Whether you want to have lots of sex or no sex at all, our approach goes beyond being non-judgmental; we positively and actively affirm diverse sexual choices, and support the radical act of asking "what do I want sexually?"

We take an activist approach to mainstream ideas about sexuality, by providing perspectives that differ from mainstream contexts and by modeling respectful, non-judgmental, mature approaches. We welcome everyone to participate in a friendlier and more open way of thinking about and experiencing sexuality.

You can learn more about our co-operative values and CAYA culture on our website, www.comeasyouare.com, just click on the culture link at the top of the page.

Name Our Packer

Is that a new packer in your pants, or are you just happy to see us? Maybe it’s both, since there’s definitely a new packer in town.  We were feeling a need for a more affordable but still durable packer, and one that would give us a colour selection, so we turned to our local dildo manufacturer, Happy Valley and asked them to turn our dreams into reality.  We’re proud to announce the launch of our brand new silicone packer called…um, well, we don't know what it is called yet, but we're hoping you can help!  Check out our packer (currently called Mister No Name) in our Toronto store or online, and submit your suggestion for a name. If we choose your name, you'll receive your very own packer and a Come As You Are gift basket. All entries (not just the winning one!) will receive 10% off any purchase from our website. View details at www.comeasyouare.com/nameourpacker.

4th Annual Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair 

Across the GTA folks are warming up their sewing machines and dusting off their home kilns to get to work for another fabulous Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair. Know someone who makes erotic crafts, or been dreaming about your own clever concoctions? Get ready! Applications are now being accepted at www.eroticartsandcrafts.com. Deadline for applying is January 3rd, 2010. We’ll see you all back again at the Gladstone Hotel on February 13th where you can fine creative solutions for that one-of-a-kind Valentine’s surprise.

Lelo Holiday Contest

We’re so charmed by our brand new Lelo rechargeables: Mona, Lola, and Billy that we want to share the magic with everybody.  For this month’s giveaway we want to hear your favourite erotic holiday indulgences.  We know the season can be tough, and sometimes sex can keep you going. So share what you think makes the holiday season sexiest and you’ll be entered to win a Lelo surprise just in time for the holidays.  Entries must be received by December 1st to contests@comeasyouare.com.

Today porn is everywhere.  But where is it as art? 25,000 Years of Erotic Freedom surveys the history of pornography and argues that the success and vibrancy of a society is intimately linked to its sexual permissiveness. Alan Moore (the creator of Lost Girls, Watchmen and V for Vendetta, to name a few) takes us on a tour of erotic art from prehistory to modern times. Accompanying his thoughtful and engaging essay is a collection of some of the most provocative illustrations ever published. An exceptional coffee table book for people with exceptional taste. $29.50

Finding “grown up time” over the holidays can be a challenge. We’re lucky if we can catch a few minutes in the wee hours before we collapse from exhaustion. That’s precisely where our Glow in the Dark Sex Coupons come in.  Perfect as a stocking stuffer, each coupon is good for an erotic roll in the dark, from movie theatre make-out sessions to candle light quickies in the bathroom. $7.50

The new edition of Best Sex Writing 2009 is out, and the series keeps getting better and better. A collection of (mostly) non-fiction essays on everything to do with sex under the sun.  2009 includes father-daughter purity balls and the abstinence movement, how PTSD affects the sex lives of soldiers, the new revision of the DSM, first-time experiences with sex workers, and more. Great writing, endlessly entertaining and thought-provoking. $19.50 

Compiled from a Sinclair Video contest for new erotic fiction, the Better Sex Erotic Stories CD is an audio collection that’s a perfect way to heat yourself up on those cold winter nights.  From stories of the ballet and a neighbour’s seduction to a long dormant romance rekindled between a woman and her husband, these stories are mostly soft, with a few explicit bumps along the way, and are sure to delight. $14.99

 

Luxurious Loving is a gorgeously photographed and well-written book that teaches us how to transform raunch into sensual awakening. The approach is inspired by Tantra, yet geared towards all who want to enrich or discover their connection to one another. Chapter titles include imagine, sniff, gaze, moan, caress, connect, and more. The images are all heterosexual, but the text is written for couples of any orientation. $25.95

Everyone knows that good things come in threes and we know that good things always come from Lelo!  

Mona and Lola feature Lelo's trademark velvety silicone exterior, beautiful design, and durable motors.  What’s new is their new easy-to-use push-button controls.  Also new is the little extra Mona offers.  Mona is Lelo's first “rabbit style” dual-function vibrator to provide g-spot and clitoral stimulation simultaneously.  Lola is Mona's almost-twin, featuring the same g-spot curve but without the external portion for folks who want something a little less full-featured. $139 - $159

To round out our Lelo holiday wish list, meet Billy, the first vibrating penetration toy from Lelo's homme line.  Billy is designed specifically for prostate stimulation and anal play.  Featuring Lelo's silicone shaft and European styling, Billy comes complete with a safety cuff to ensure that your play only goes as far as you want it! $129

 

We’re usually wary of gimmicky holiday offerings, but we couldn’t resist this one (especially since it’s so functional).  For the ultimate secret (or not so secret) Santa, Big Tease introduces their sexy holiday Big Tease Ornament Vibes!  Each includes a powerful mini I Rub My Duckie vibrator enclosed in a classic Christmas ball to hang on your tree! $25

 

We won't subject you to a point-by-point comparison, or guarantee a near-chocolate experience, but we can testify to the ground-breaking, orgasm-making technology emerging from the great minds at Nomi Tang. Better Than Chocolate sits perfectly in the palm of the hand, fits comfortably and ergonomically for clitoral stimulation and features a unique touch-sensor controller. Changing vibration strength or mode is easy, intuitive, and very sexy. $90

 

In Spanish with English subtitles, the Barcelona Sex Project is a DVD like no other.  It features six men and women who have volunteered to let you peek into their personal and sexual lives.  Each one is interviewed about everything from favourite foods to favourite sex positions, and then demonstrates with passion and beauty the way they pleasure themselves to orgasm.  Rarely do we get to see such a cross-section of people talking and showing their sexuality so openly and honestly.  Hot and eye opening. $35 

Travel to sunny Hawaii with our friends from Shane's World Surfer Girls 2 and enjoy a relaxing vacation filled with, yes, surfing…but lots of sex! In the traditional Shane style, our actors and actresses pick up sexy party goers and show them how porn stars get down! Refreshing and adventurous with a whole heap of fun. $29 

A collection of 25 scenes focused mostly on solo masturbation with a sprinkling of penetration, the 50 State Masturbate features Wicked Picture's hottest stars from the past two years. Great for those that want to see what these girls and guys get up to ''when no one's looking''! $29 

The participants of Crash Pad Series 4 indulge in a little more power play than some of the other editions. Rough sex, rope bondage, and lots of strap-on play prevail as our regulars get down and dirty as we've come to expect from this groundbreaking crew. Real bodies, real sex, real chemistry and that traditional hint of voyeurism is definitely a winning formula from the folks at Pink & White Productions. Lesbian focus. $40

With a focus on, well, women's breasts, Cleavage features women posing, teasing and hamming it up for the camera, before getting it on with an excited partner. There’s not much dialogue, this one is straight to the sex, with the sensuality of caressing voluptuous breasts in the spotlight. While this is a straight-up "typical" porn set-up, the production values are good, and the quality of the talent is fantastic. It's nice to see some women with a few more curves than a lot of other mainstream porn! $35

November 24

Hands-On Rope Bondage

With Midori

All genders.

November 25

Hands-On Body Harness

With Midori

All genders.

January 3

Strapping It On

With Andrea Zanin

All genders.

January 23

Take It Off With Confidence

With Jade

Women and Trans Women Only.

February 21

Erotic and Creative Dreaming

With Chris Ablett

All genders.

February 24

Find Your Sexy Confidence

With Reese Jones

All genders.

March 10

Sex, Breath and the Pelvic Floor

With Angela Barsotti

All genders.

March 21

Female Ejaculation

With Shannon Bell

Women, Trans people and Men Accompanied by Women.