Newsletter No. 49: VALENTINES 2010
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For the Love of Sexual Values
This is the time of year when everyone - from chocolatiers to tax lawyers - cites some “sexpert” or random statistic to entice you to buy some gizmo to improve your sex life. This kind of hucksterism is one of the things we hate the most about the business we're in. Don Draper was right when he said it isn’t sex that sells, but if sex is what you care about, it's unfortunate that you are forced to navigate smoke and mirrors advertising and misinformation. At Come As You Are, we'll help you find your way by providing the most accurate and up-to-date information and quality products.
We wanted to share two more of our core values that seem particularly apt for Valentine’s Day. We also want to hear from you. What do you think of our core values? Do they reflect your experience of our co-operative? How do they fit (or not) with your own? Send us an email (info@comeasyouare.com), give us a call , or drop by the store.
Core Value #10: Working Harder to Make Sex Easier
When exploring sex is the goal, working hard is its own reward.
At Come As You Are we're always working to create a greater sense of comfort, to provide honest information and resources, and to meet everyone where they’re at. It's our experience that sex doesn't come "naturally" to any of us. And we consider it our responsibility to do the hard work that makes it easier for you to explore.
We think being comfortable talking about sex isn’t enough on its own, and we don’t let the low expectations of our industry keep us from constantly working to improve our products, education, and customer service.
We know that the harder we work the better sex people can have, so it's easy for us to take pride and pleasure in going the extra mile.
Core Value #5: Be the Anti-Experts
We know enough about sex to know that we don’t know it all.
Part of being a co-operative is being about something bigger than ourselves. In all our interactions (with customers, vendors, each other, and the communities we work with) we strive to keep our egos and personalities out of the equation.
We’re not the cool self-ordained “sexperts” you’ll find on talk TV or at some other sex shops. We do know a lot about sex, but the most important thing we know is that each of us is the real expert on our own desires. Every day we learn new things just by being open to the conversation, even when we don't agree on what is being said. We consider it our job to listen, learn, and be your guide through our products--not judge, diagnose, or condescend to you. To put it simply, we know it’s not about what we think; it’s about what you want.
Learn more about our co-operative values and CAYA culture on our website, www.comeasyouare.com, just click on the culture link at the top of the page.
News
Give Back to Someone Special: Yourself!
Here at Come As You Are we appreciate how Valentine’s Day can easily get catch us up in the mainstream angst of singledom. Why not celebrate all the sexiness that is you? Whether by choice, necessity, or circumstance, we believe loving and appreciating oneself is just as important as sharing your life with somebody else. Send an email to contests@comeasyouare.com by February 14th and we’ll enter you in a raffle to win a $50 gift certificate so you can treat yourself this Valentine’s.
Fourth Annual Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair
Last year over 1300 people, tired of giving the same old mass manufactured Valentine’s Day gifts, crowded into the Gladstone Hotel for our Erotic Arts and Crafts Fair. So we’re doing it again! One day only, February 13th, from 12pm to 8pm, the Gladstone Hotel on Queen St. W. becomes the mecca for the most crafty, cutesy and clever concotions on offer from our favorite erotic artists. A craft fair we dare you to compare, with handmade lingerie, erotic stationary, and one-of-a-kind photography, you’re sure to find something original and whimsical to woo your loved ones. For more info and featured artists check out www.eroticartsandcrafts.com.
Midnight Mayhem
Head on down to our Toronto store or check us out online for our annual Midnight Mayhem sale. On Friday March 26th from 9pm – 12pm, the store will be hopping to the tunes of DJ Winnie, folks will be scrambling for our famous toonie bin deals and many more of your favourite items will be marked down, down, down!
Toys
This Valentine's day, we dare you to pop the question: will you wear my cock ring? We've been saying it since we opened our doors in 1997, and now Beyonce agrees! If you like it then you should put a ring on it. We think cock rings can add whole new dimensions of sensation, pleasure and adventure to everyday sex and lovemaking. Try a vibrating ring to add a bit of extra stimulation to your favourite penis, dildo or g-spot toy or adorn someone you like, love or lust for with a sexy leather ring for a more hardcore look. Prices for rings vary from $8 - $80.
Take your wand on the road! For the many fans of the classic Hitachi Magic Wand, Vibratex has crafted the completely cordless Mystic Wand. Featuring six vibration speeds/mode settings, the Mystic is fully waterproof, made of silicone and is much more compact than traditional wand-style vibrators. This battery-operated vibe has excellent push-button controls and is remarkably quiet. $70
With so many great new rechargeable g-spot vibrators on the market, it is lovely to come across a really great sex toy that is just for external clitoral play. bSwish's bCurious vibe is designed exclusively for external use and its ergonomic form fits the contours of the body to provide vibration exactly where you want it. bCurious' small form fits easily in the palm, and features easy-to-use silicone controls, multi-mode vibration and a fully waterproof exterior.
We've always fought the tide against gendered sex toys, but in an industry that still makes "'women's'' toys almost exclusively in pink, and inevitably packages "men's" sex toys in black, we've often felt a bit alone in the struggle. While the folks at Nexus still use alternately pink or black packaging, we're impressed that they've designed an entire line of silicone vibrators that can be used by anyone, for almost anything! Nexus' new Max 5 is no exception - this sex toy has curves for every spot on the alphabet! With a multi-speed removable vibrator, Max 5 can be boiled between uses making it perfect for sharing too.
Wear something special for Valentine's this year! Aslan Leather's Minx Harness is a hot corset-style harness that combines the incredible dildo-harnessing capabilities of the classic Aslan Jaguar harness with an unbelievably sexy lace-up corset back. Or if you already have a Jaguar in your tickle trunk, the corset back can be purchased as an upgrade. $89 - $160
Books
Open up new possibilities in any relationship or get a bit cheeky with this personal notch-in-the-bedpost journal featuring 291 sex positions. The Position Sex Bible covers intercourse, oral sex, hand jobs and more, each with a full colour photo and step by step instruction. Informative and fun. $17.99
At long last an entire erotic collection devoted to the magic that is going down on the woman that you love (or just lust after). Tasting Her is chock full of delicious stories of oral sex performed on women. Some are written from the perspective of cunnilingus virgins – first shy, but then quickly won over; others are tales of the pros who create elaborate games for themselves to intensify pleasure. Great for solo enjoyment and perfect for couple consumption too. $19.50
Shannon Boodram, a young Torontonian, has broken new ground with Laid, a book about “young people’s experience of sex in an easy access culture”. Each chapter includes Q & A’s with the authors, and compiled stories, of sex--good, bad, and ugly. In unflinching detail, with no sugar coating, this is an important collection for anyone thinking of having sex (whether it’s your first or 101st time) and a major addition to the public discussion of sex and youth. Chapters deal with everything from love at first sight to date rape, pregnancy to STIs. A compelling and brave book. $19.95
Women's Anatomy of Arousal is an uplifting and inspiring book that encourages holistic exploration and learning about a woman's body, both inside and out. Great for those who are just learning about themselves and how to achieve pleasure, to those who are ready to take the next step and dive ever deeper into the realms of female orgasm. Easy to read, but full of information, this book is thoroughly illustrated with erotic images from centuries ago, detailed illustrations of anatomy, and famous quotes, as well as hints for men who love women. It’s hetero focused, but applies to all women, solo or in a relationship. $21.95
Clean Cartoonists' Dirty Drawings offers a peek into the erotic sketch books of big-time cartoonists and the work they don’t usually publish. The artists behind Superman, Betty and Veronica, Charlie Brown and many more share sketches, drawings and comics of a sexual nature--whether it be a classy pin-up or a crude and rude 'toon. Each artist has his own section including a short bio. Endlessly interesting and funny, this book contains hundreds upon hundreds of graphics. Great gift for the comic lover who is hard to please! $26.95
DVDs
It's always exciting to find new, well done, indie porn films that are hot and sex positive. In Nostalgia, director Courtney Trouble "queers up the classics", spoofing such films as Deep Throat and the Devil in Miss Jones. Stellar cast with believable, real-life hot sex, and who wouldn't like a movie where people want to "squirt glitter" and eat more bacon? Hey, you gotta see it. $35
It’s hard to find porn that has no story line but some limits. Unbelievable Sex offers just that. It’s not as explicit as our raunchier fare, but features well shot and passionate sex scenes, perfect for first time viewers and anyone who wants to by-pass the awkward dialogue. $29
More indie porn we love, the New Romantix gives you a glimpse into the real lives of some of the top alt porn stars today. Each scene begins with a short interview (learn about non-sex pastimes, get to know their personalities, and then watch them have smoking hot sex!) Shot in an artistic and dynamic way that works, this hipster porn is bright and inviting with just the right amount of hardcore fun and raw sexual expression. Never a dull moment, the seven-plus scenes in this film are sure to keep you tuned in and turned on. $35
Taking the reins from Tristan Taormino, the ever-adorable Penny Flame is here to teach you more than just the basics on how to give a hot hand job--for guys and girls--and reminds us that great sex isn't just about intercourse. The Expert Guide to Hands Jobs is presented in an inviting workshop-style atmosphere with explicit demonstrations to re-cap what we've learned. Throughout the video, a cute cartoon Penny is there to keep you on track with hints and tips. Learning is fun again! $40
Cheesy porn plots can be fun, and Big Business has them all! From the "strip club" where all the dancers got the flu and the customer is left with the "waitress", to the English teacher and the basketball coach, to the sexy nurse, all scenes feature women with curves. Some super voluptuous and some with just a few more curves than what you normally see in porn, these girls are in charge and lovin' it. Stand out performances by James Deen and Kandi Kobain. $29
Workshops
Sunday February 21
Erotic and Creative Dreaming
With Chris Ablett
All genders
Wednesday February 24
Find Your Sexy Confidence
With Reese Jones
All genders
Saturday March 13
Sex, Breath and the Pelvic Floor
With Angela Barsotti
All genders
Sunday March 7
Female Ejacualation
With Shannon Bell
Women, Trans People and Men Accompanied by Women
Saturday April 10 &
Monday April 12
Pop His Rocket
With Ducky Doolittle
All genders
Sunday April 11
Sex for Survivors
With Ducky Doolittle
All genders
Tuesday April 13
Creative Sex
With Ducky Doolittle
All genders
Wednesday April 14
Art of Female Orgasm
With Ducky Doolittle
All genders