How To Use a Vibrator

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Introduction

Vibrators often don’t come with instruction manuals. You might think it’s funny that we even mention it, but many of our customers have never used a vibrator, and just as many are uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the subtleties of self- love. So it’s no surprise to us that people ask, and we’d like to help out a bit with some basics on how to use a vibrator.


Start Solo

Even if you’re planning on using a vibrator with a partner, we recommend starting out on your own. This gives you the chance to check out the features, see what you like, work out any kinks, and pay close attention to what does and doesn’t work for you with the new toy without the distraction (pleasant though it may be) of a partner.


Cleanliness Before…

When you get your vibrator home be sure to wash it well before first use. Look it over carefully, put the batteries in or give it a full charge (if it is rechargeable), and make sure you know how it works and that all the functions are working properly.


Make Nice

Before buzzing your way to ecstasy, get comfortable with the feel of your vibrator against your skin and on your body without the motor turned on. Vibrators aren’t called massagers for nothing, and you might like the feel of a vibe pressed firmly in just the right places.


Don’t Forget The Lube

Consider using a lubricant - toys don’t lubricate themselves, and using a lube will make everything more slippery.

If your new vibe is silicone, stay away from silicone lubes, and if your new vibe is rubber or elastomer, stay away from oil-based lubes. Water-based lubricants are compatible with all sex toys.


Start Gently, Build Slowly

When you first turn your vibrator on, leave it at a low setting. Start by feeling the vibrator in your hands, along your arms and legs, or belly or feet. Very slowly direct the vibrator to the more sensitive parts of your body (remember there are many places other than the genitals that can turn us on and get us off). If you’re feeling sensitive, start first by slowly bringing the vibrator up your legs and along your inner thighs. You’re only new at this  once, so savour the tease and anticipation. Once you’re comfortable with the feel of vibration, move the vibrator closer to your clitoris, vulva, penis, or perineum.


Go To Town!

The feeling of a vibrator is hard to describe. Let’s just say people who like it, like it a lot. There are several ways to explore stimulation with your vibrator - we’ve listed some ideas for inspiration!

  • Try using just the tip of the vibrator on different parts of the clitoris or penis. Roll the vibrator over the genitals creating both pressure and friction.
  • If your vibrator has a flat edge or ridges see what they feel like when you press it against your body.
  • Experiment with applying pressure and then letting go. Press the vibrator deep against your body and feel the internal vibrations.
  • Use the different speed settings to ramp the stimulation up and down, or with a pulsation.


Take Yourself To The Edge

Vibrators can be a great way to explore and expand your sexual response. One way to do this is to use a vibrator to bring yourself to the point just before orgasm, and slow down the vibrator until you’ve backed off a bit. Then start using your vibrator again until you get yourself once again to the point before orgasm. Try doing this several times before you let yourself go over the top. Many find that a slow build up results in a bigger orgasm.


Using Vibes To Explore Multiple Orgasms

We are not fans of the “orgasmic imperative” at Come As You Are. Some of our favourite sex acts don’t involve an orgasm at all. But if you’re interested in seeing if you can have multiple orgasms, vibration can be a great help. Once you’ve had an orgasm (with a vibrator or not) use your vibrator, even if you don’t feel you could come again. Play with speed and pressure and see what happens. For some people there will be nothing. For others it’s part two of a story you thought was over.


Going Deeper

Many people use vibrators externally, but lots of people like vibrators for penetration, and if your vibe is safe for penetration (no sharp edges, a flared base for anal use), why not give it a try. See what it feels like with the vibrator inside you as you press against the top, bottom, and sides. Some spots may be extra sensitive, like the g-spot or prostate, and you may enjoy the feeling of having a vibrator inside you without a lot of movement. Remember to not use a vibrator for both anal and vaginal penetration, unless you use a condom and replace the condom in between.


Last updated: May 1st, 2026