Anal Pleasure

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Introduction

     As more and more of us explore various pleasure zones throughout our own and our partners’ bodies, the anus has - at long last - received some of the attention it so richly deserves. In spite (and because) of the still pervasive anal taboo, anal eroticism opens up a world of sexual possibility - whether as main course or appetizer. Dispelling fear and combating ignorance is the first step to enjoying anal sex.

     At Come As You Are we don’t believe there is a single ‘expert’ approach to anal sex, or any sex for that matter. Instead, we encourage you to become an expert on your own desires, and to discover the knowledge and tools to increase pleasure and decrease unwanted risk. The good news is that a few simple tips can help maximize safety and potential pleasure. This pamphlet offers a non-medical, pleasure-based approach to exploring and enjoying anal play.


Back door basics - ifs, ands & butts!

Learn about the anus. The opening of the anus contains the highest concentration of nerve endings. Thereafter, the anus responds mostly to feelings of fullness or pressure. For those with prostates, putting pressure on the ventral wall of the anus (towards the navel) a couple of inches in will stimulate the prostate gland. The tip of the internal clitoral body can also be stimulated through the anus (for folks with clitorises, that is!).

Relax and take the time to explore your anal opening (sphincter muscles), anal canal, and prostate gland / g-spot (through the anal wall). Be conscious of what feels good and what doesn’t. Stop if you are overwhelmed by difficult or negative emotions. Breathe, relax, and continue if you choose. If it hurts, don’t force it. Pain means that something is not quite right.

Open your mind to all the possibilities of anal play. These include touching with fingers or other body parts or objects, licking or oral-anal contact (popularly known as rimming), pulling open the buttocks thereby stretching the anal opening, and penetration with fingers, toys, or a penis. Don’t forget fantasy and dirty talking to augment anal play - or during another type of play entirely!

Be aware that the lining of the anus is very sensitive to damage, so precautions should be taken. Lubricant is essential for anal penetration as the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Anything near or in the anus should be smooth and free of jagged edges; cut fingernails short and round the edges with an emery board. Dildos or other toys with a flared base are advised - anything that slips out of your grasp may not be easily retrievable!

Play safely. Do not put anything from the anus to a vagina - bacteria that live quite happily in the anus can cause havoc in the vagina. Use a fresh condom on a penis or a toy and a fresh latex glove on hands, or wash very thoroughly. Using a dental dam or slicing open a condom to use as a barrier during oral-anal contact reduces the risk of transmitting infections.

 

Toys for Anal Play

Any sex toy safe for anal play should:

  • be smooth, without sharp edges or seams
  • have a flared base or end
  • be made of a non-porous and easy to clean material


Dildos come in a range of colours, sizes, shapes and designs - but must meet the above three criteria for a safe anal toy. Dildos can be used in a harness for pegging/strap-on play, suction cupped to a wall for solo play, or be used as hand-held toys.

Butt Plugs create a feeling of fullness and pressure. The stem-to-bulb ratio of a butt plug helps it to stay in place - the bigger the bulb and the more narrow the stem, the better the plug will stay-put during play. Plugs are great fun for solo play, partner play, or a night out on the town!

Anal Beads can stay stationary in the body (like a butt plug) or can engage your sphincter muscles as they’re gently pulled out. They create a feeling that is less of fullness and more of a pleasurable ripple of sensation. People often pull anal beads out at the moment of orgasm to heighten the sensation.

Prostate Toys are designed with a curve to stimulate the prostate. Prostate stimulation can lead to orgasm and can be used to “milk” the prostate. There is evidence that regular stimulation of the prostate can benefit prostate health.

Enemas - sometimes called douches - can be used as sensation-producing sex toys, but people often use them to clean internally before playing with toys or people. Enemas have a bulb that can be filled with water and a spout that is inserted so room temperature water can be released inside the body. Cleaning the anus before play is not necessary and we recommend a higher fibre diet for folks concerned about cleanliness during play.

 

Last updated: May 1st, 2026