This was my very first dip (just the tip, rather) into the world of strap-ons as a wee baby gay! I remember I wanted something that absolutely did not look even a little bit like an actual penis and wasn’t a scary size and this fit the bill. It’s not too big, not too small. Not too firm, not too soft. Picks up some lint, but not all of it in the immediate vicinity. Fun purple colour. Just right. My Goldicocks, if you will.
In retrospect, I’m not too hot on the angled base; it makes it feel a bit unstable/harder to control (for my particular anatomy, anyway) and I remember having to buy a smaller ring for my harness so it wouldn’t slip out from the top since the lip up there is a little shallow.
But that did kind of force me into learning to fuck on hard mode, so when I upgraded to flat bases/double enders (shout-out to another banger, the Tango, those folks at Fuze just will not miss) as a journeyman gay, it felt like running after training with ankle weights. Not to be cocky, but I felt fucking unstoppable (with consent of course). I’ve since managed my ego and I’m fully aware that I’m a mediocre lover, but silver linings.
I’ve also been on the receiving end of this thing semi-recently since I’ve gotten over my “I am simply too butch to be fucked” phase. (*Keyword “my.” Power to all the hard tops, stones, etc. out there who are better at untangling their identity than me). While that’s been fun and novel, it has effectively thrust me into a second baby gay phase of sorts and I’m once again fearful of large, too penis-y looking toys. Goldicocks coming in clutch, once again. My sample size for comparison is small, but I do like the slight upward curve in addition to the pros I’ve already mentioned. I think I’m currently too tense and neurotic to enjoy the “bumpiness,” if you catch my drift, but maybe I’ll be sold on that if I chill the fuck out at some point in the near or distant future.
I was also too cheap to upgrade for so long that this thing accidentally became kind of part of my identity. Where I’m going with this is that now when people tell me to “go fuck myself,” I can say I already have by proxy, and the confusion inherent in that statement tends to defuse…deFuze…tension pretty effectively. *I am not implying Fuze promotes modelling your conflict resolution skills on Pokémon and Bonobos. Please don’t sue me for libel.
Buying from a Canada-based company also made me feel like an ethical consumer at the time, but now I feel like that’s an oxymoron after being broken by the financial and societal hardships of adult life. In conclusion, to all the baby gays considering this product: the world’s probably gonna fuck you at least a little bit, so you might as well do some of the fucking yourself or get fucked in a way that you actually enjoy. And the Fuze Ten Rebel is a pretty solid, middle-of-the-road choice with which to do so.
Sorry this got so long; I mostly just wanted 15% off, but I’m not great at editing myself and I refuse to involve a third party in my sex toy review to help me do so. Hopefully someone on the cusp of a similar experience might find this helpful, but probably not because it kind of reads like an unhinged, TMI love letter to my strap-on. Albeit one filled with so many backhanded compliments that Goldicocks would have every right to dump me or drag me into couples therapy if they could talk, but still a love letter…I’ll do better for you Goldicocks, I promise. You’ve been good to me.
