Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy
Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you’re striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual nonmonogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships.
Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides nonmonogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships, and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory.
Specifications for Polysecure
- Author: Jessica Fern
- Pages: 260
- Publisher: Thorntree Press
- Year: 2020
- Binding: Paperback
- ISBN: 9781944934989
- Find in-store: Books > Relationships > Polyamory & Non-monogamy
Excellent and nuanced book I look forward to reading again, very insightful. I feel like I'll be taking away a lot on attachment and ENM for years with this one book and recommend it to my friends.
I was so glad to be able to buy this book from CAYA instead of a bigger retailer. I love the author's approach to attachement theory and how accessible she has made the content. It gave plenty to reflect on and had tangible take-aways too. Because it's divided into sections, I also found it easier to come back to after stretches of not being able to fit in more focused reading. Definitely a book I'll be coming back to multiple times!
I love this book. I had it out from the library and then purchased it, because it's that good. When I have friends who tell me they're exploring ENM or friends who are already polyam who want to start learning more about attachments and relationship, this is the book I recommend. It's such an approachable book, and Jessica Fern does a great job of taking something (attachment theory) that is almost always talked about from a monogamy lens in the literature, and applies it to ENM. Non-monogamous folks need secure attachments too! This book is really helpful on the journey there.
Polysecure is a completely different type of CNM book. It doesn't moralize or preach, but it offers deep insights into some of the most complex things in CNM relationships, as well as many practical solutions to work through issues, including insecurity and communication, all with compassion and science.
Couldn't recommend it more.
couldn’t stop smiling as I read this book. I have kids and a F/T job and somehow I managed to finish it in a day and a half. It just perfectly articulates experiences I’ve had since opening within a context that makes sense to me. Following More Than Two, this should be required reading for those exploring consensual non-monogamy. This is an all-around brilliant book and critical addition to the literature on polyamory. I am currently buying a second copy to lend to others!