The older I get, the more I like deeper, more intense vibrations. My old reliable vibe is a Fun Factory Laya that has actually lasted a staggering number of years, but whether it’s me or the motor aging too much (or both?), once the batteries stop being fresh it doesn’t quite do the job anymore. So I finally decided to buy a magic wand for the first time. My battery vibe will now be retired with full honours (or saved for travel maybe) because it will never compete.
I have been getting off for two decades without venturing near the magic wand, because my impressions of it for all these years have been “it’s pretty large, it’s VERY loud, it’s VERY VERY strong… but those who do like it, seem to like it a lot”. The loudness and intensity made me think it wasn’t for me. It probably wasn’t when I was younger. It is now, though, so I’m glad I decided to try it. This review is long in case you’re like me and side-eyeing one of these; I come to you with details. Specifics. This is the review past-me wanted.
- it IS really long, and maybe a little heavy (lighter than it looks, thank god), and the cord is, you know, present, but the length makes it easy to hold. The business end of it also has a lot of surface area. That’s a feature (and it’s comfortably soft). And you know what, I don’t have to actually use this vibe for very long to get results, so it’s fine if it’s maybe a little cumbersome. As for the cord—think of it as an instant gratification enabler, because that’s what it is.
- it’s not as loud as I was honestly expecting lmao. I winced when I first flipped it on to test the noise and then went “oh”. The lower setting sounds fine; if you have thin walls then I think music would cover it. The higher one is louder (and I think I’ll save the higher setting for best, because it was a little much for my taste) but I don’t think anyone not sharing a wall would hear it behind a closed door unless they were listening? Maybe my Laya is just super loud idk. I live in a separate suite in a house but I think my neighbours may have a higher risk of hearing me than the magic wand.
- The power switch has the ‘off’ position in the middle so you can’t go directly from the “oh-” intensity to the “-shit” intensity, and I think that’s great because you’re not going to accidentally flip it to whichever one you don’t want at a key moment (not without accidentally turning it off first, anyway). It’s the strongest vibe I’ve ever used even on the lower setting AND the coverage the head has means you really can’t miss wherever your sweet spots are. It’s gonna hit all of them at once, probably, and that’s the real magic. A battery powered vibe with brand new batteries could never, and certainly not if you used that battery vibe on the high setting for a few minutes.
- Not that the magic wand seems to need any long term staying power anyway, because it melted my bones in under 5 minutes. Sleep aid of the century. Can’t believe I was ALSO smart enough to buy it on sale, but I wouldn’t have been mad if I’d paid full price either.
